Being Spiritual, again

Life throws situations at you, which you may not always know how to handle. This is growing up and there is no escape from it into mommy's cozy embrace. What helps is belief in The Creator. Certain incidences over the past few days and some unrelated ones today made me seek Him once again.

I am glad that an uncle, a noble person to my mind, did introduce me to some powerful hymns in 2005.

I am not sure who I will be, or whether I would have changed for the good after this, but I do feel very ready to take on whatever comes with by listening to Japji Sahib. Japji Sahib consists of the Mool Mantra as the beginning followed by 38 hymns and a final Salok at the end of this composition. The Japji appears at the very beginning of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib, the Holy Book of the Sikhs. It is regarded as the most important Bani or 'set of verses' by the Sikhs and is recited every morning by all practising faithful of this religion. (Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japji_Sahib)

Here is an English translation of the bani

Mool mantra:
One Universal Creator God. The Name Is Truth. Creative Being Personified. No Fear. No Hatred. Image Of The Undying, Beyond Birth, Self-Existent. By Guru's Grace

The Hymns:
True In The Primal Beginning. True Throughout The Ages.
True Here And Now. O Nanak, Forever And Ever True. 1
By thinking, He cannot be reduced to thought, even by thinking hundreds of thousands of times.
By remaining silent, inner silence is not obtained, even by remaining lovingly absorbed deep within.
The hunger of the hungry is not appeased, even by piling up loads of worldly goods.
Hundreds of thousands of clever tricks, but not even one of them will go along with you in the end.
So how can you become truthful? And how can the veil of illusion be torn away?
O Nanak, it is written that you shall obey the Hukam of His Command, and walk in the Way of His Will. 1
By His Command, bodies are created; His Command cannot be described.
By His Command, souls come into being; by His Command, glory and greatness are obtained.
By His Command, some are high and some are low; by His Written Command, pain and pleasure are obtained.
Some, by His Command, are blessed and forgiven; others, by His Command, wander aimlessly forever.
Everyone is subject to His Command; no one is beyond His Command.
O Nanak, one who understands His Command, does not speak in ego. 2
Some sing of His Power-who has that Power?
Some sing of His Gifts, and know His Sign and Insignia.
Some sing of His Glorious Virtues, Greatness and Beauty.
Some sing of knowledge obtained of Him, through difficult philosophical studies.
Some sing that He fashions the body, and then again reduces it to dust.
Some sing that He takes life away, and then again restores it.
Some sing that He seems so very far away.
Some sing that He watches over us, face to face, ever-present.
There is no shortage of those who preach and teach.
Millions upon millions offer millions of sermons and stories.
The Great Giver keeps on giving, while those who receive grow weary of receiving.
Throughout the ages, consumers consume.
The Commander, by His Command, leads us to walk on the Path.
O Nanak, He blossoms forth, Carefree and Untroubled. 3
True is the Master, True is His Name-speak it with infinite love.
People beg and pray, "Give to us, give to us", and the Great Giver gives His Gifts.
So what offering can we place before Him, by which we might see the Darbaar of His Court?
What words can we speak to evoke His Love?
In the Amrit Vaylaa, the ambrosial hours before dawn, chant the True Name, and contemplate His Glorious Greatness.
By the karma of past actions, the robe of this physical body is obtained. By His Grace, the Gate of Liberation is found.
O Nanak, know this well: the True One Himself is All. 4
He cannot be established, He cannot be created.
He Himself is Immaculate and Pure.
Those who serve Him are honored.
O Nanak, sing of the Lord, the Treasure of Excellence.
Sing, and listen, and let your mind be filled with love.
Your pain shall be sent far away, and peace shall come to your home.
The Guru's Word is the Sound-current of the Naad; the Guru's Word is the Wisdom of the Vedas; the Guru's Word is all-pervading.
The Guru is Shiva, the Guru is Vishnu and Brahma; the Guru is Paarvati and Lakhshmi.
Even knowing God, I cannot describe Him; He cannot be described in words.
The Guru has given me this one understanding:
there is only the One, the Giver of all souls. May I never forget Him! 5
If I am pleasing to Him, then that is my pilgrimage and cleansing bath. Without pleasing Him, what good are ritual cleansings?
I gaze upon all the created beings: without the karma of good actions, what are they given to receive?
Within the mind are gems, jewels and rubies, if you listen to the Guru's Teachings, even once.
The Guru has given me this one understanding:
there is only the One, the Giver of all souls. May I never forget Him! 6
Even if you could live throughout the four ages, or even ten times more,
and even if you were known throughout the nine continents and followed by all,
with a good name and reputation, with praise and fame throughout the world-
still, if the Lord does not bless you with His Glance of Grace, then who cares? What is the use?
Among worms, you would be considered a lowly worm, and even contemptible sinners would hold you in contempt.
O Nanak, God blesses the unworthy with virtue, and bestows virtue on the virtuous.
No one can even imagine anyone who can bestow virtue upon Him. 7
Listening-the Siddhas, the spiritual teachers, the heroic warriors, the yogic masters.
Listening-the earth, its support and the Akaashic ethers.
Listening-the oceans, the lands of the world and the nether regions of the underworld.
Listening-Death cannot even touch you.
O Nanak, the devotees are forever in bliss.
Listening-pain and sin are erased. 8
Listening-Shiva, Brahma and Indra.
Listening-even foul-mouthed people praise Him.
Listening-the technology of Yoga and the secrets of the body.
Listening-the Shaastras, the Simritees and the Vedas.
O Nanak, the devotees are forever in bliss.
Listening-pain and sin are erased. 9
Listening-truth, contentment and spiritual wisdom.
Listening-take your cleansing bath at the sixty-eight places of pilgrimage.
Listening-reading and reciting, honor is obtained.
Listening-intuitively grasp the essence of meditation.
O Nanak, the devotees are forever in bliss.
Listening-pain and sin are erased. 10
Listening-dive deep into the ocean of virtue.
Listening-the Shaykhs, religious scholars, spiritual teachers and emperors.
Listening-even the blind find the Path.
Listening-the Unreachable comes within your grasp.
O Nanak, the devotees are forever in bliss.
Listening-pain and sin are erased. 11
The state of the faithful cannot be described.
One who tries to describe this shall regret the attempt.
No paper, no pen, no scribe
can record the state of the faithful.
Such is the Name of the Immaculate Lord.
Only one who has faith comes to know such a state of mind. 12
The faithful have intuitive awareness and intelligence.
The faithful know about all worlds and realms.
The faithful shall never be struck across the face.
The faithful do not have to go with the Messenger of Death.
Such is the Name of the Immaculate Lord.
Only one who has faith comes to know such a state of mind. 13
The path of the faithful shall never be blocked.
The faithful shall depart with honor and fame.
The faithful do not follow empty religious rituals.
The faithful are firmly bound to the Dharma.
Such is the Name of the Immaculate Lord.
Only one who has faith comes to know such a state of mind. 14
The faithful find the Door of Liberation.
The faithful uplift and redeem their family and relations.
The faithful are saved, and carried across with the Sikhs of the Guru.
The faithful, O Nanak, do not wander around begging.
Such is the Name of the Immaculate Lord.
Only one who has faith comes to know such a state of mind. 15
The chosen ones, the self-elect, are accepted and approved.
The chosen ones are honored in the Court of the Lord.
The chosen ones look beautiful in the courts of kings.
The chosen ones meditate single-mindedly on the Guru.
No matter how much anyone tries to explain and describe them,
the actions of the Creator cannot be counted.
The mythical bull is Dharma, the son of compassion;
this is what patiently holds the earth in its place.
One who understands this becomes truthful.
What a great load there is on the bull!
So many worlds beyond this world-so very many!
What power holds them, and supports their weight?
The names and the colors of the assorted species of beings
were all inscribed by the Ever-flowing Pen of God.
Who knows how to write this account?
Just imagine what a huge scroll it would take!
What power! What fascinating beauty!
And what gifts! Who can know their extent?
You created the vast expanse of the Universe with One Word!
Hundreds of thousands of rivers began to flow.
How can Your Creative Potency be described?
I cannot even once be a sacrifice to You.
Whatever pleases You is the only good done,
You, Eternal and Formless One! 16
Countless meditations, countless loves.
Countless worship services, countless austere disciplines.
Countless scriptures, and ritual recitations of the Vedas.
Countless Yogis, whose minds remain detached from the world.
Countless devotees contemplate the Wisdom and Virtues of the Lord.
Countless the holy, countless the givers.
Countless heroic spiritual warriors, who bear the brunt of the attack in battle (who with their mouths eat steel).
Countless silent sages, vibrating the String of His Love.
How can Your Creative Potency be described?
I cannot even once be a sacrifice to You.
Whatever pleases You is the only good done,
You, Eternal and Formless One. 17
Countless fools, blinded by ignorance.
Countless thieves and embezzlers.
Countless impose their will by force.
Countless cut-throats and ruthless killers.
Countless sinners who keep on sinning.
Countless liars, wandering lost in their lies.
Countless wretches, eating filth as their ration.
Countless slanderers, carrying the weight of their stupid mistakes on their heads.
Nanak describes the state of the lowly.
I cannot even once be a sacrifice to You.
Whatever pleases You is the only good done,
You, Eternal and Formless One. 18
Countless names, countless places.
Inaccessible, unapproachable, countless celestial realms.
Even to call them countless is to carry the weight on your head.
From the Word, comes the Naam; from the Word, comes Your Praise.
From the Word, comes spiritual wisdom, singing the Songs of Your Glory.
From the Word, come the written and spoken words and hymns.
From the Word, comes destiny, written on one's forehead.
But the One who wrote these Words of Destiny-no words are written on His Forehead.
As He ordains, so do we receive.
The created universe is the manifestation of Your Name.
Without Your Name, there is no place at all.
How can I describe Your Creative Power?
I cannot even once be a sacrifice to You.
Whatever pleases You is the only good done,
You, Eternal and Formless One. 19
When the hands and the feet and the body are dirty,
water can wash away the dirt.
When the clothes are soiled and stained by urine,
soap can wash them clean.
But when the intellect is stained and polluted by sin,
it can only be cleansed by the Love of the Name.
Virtue and vice do not come by mere words;
actions repeated, over and over again, are engraved on the soul.
You shall harvest what you plant.
O Nanak, by the Hukam of God's Command, we come and go in reincarnation. 20
Pilgrimages, austere discipline, compassion and charity
-these, by themselves, bring only an iota of merit.
Listening and believing with love and humility in your mind,
cleanse yourself with the Name, at the sacred shrine deep within.
All virtues are Yours, Lord, I have none at all.
Without virtue, there is no devotional worship.
I bow to the Lord of the World, to His Word, to Brahma the Creator.
He is Beautiful, True and Eternally Joyful.
What was that time, and what was that moment? What was that day, and what was that date?
What was that season, and what was that month, when the Universe was created?
The Pandits, the religious scholars, cannot find that time, even if it is written in the Puraanas.
That time is not known to the Qazis, who study the Koran.
The day and the date are not known to the Yogis, nor is the month or the season.
The Creator who created this creation-only He Himself knows.
How can we speak of Him? How can we praise Him? How can we describe Him? How can we know Him?
O Nanak, everyone speaks of Him, each one wiser than the rest.
Great is the Master, Great is His Name. Whatever happens is according to His Will.
O Nanak, one who claims to know everything shall not be decorated in the world hereafter. 21
There are nether worlds beneath nether worlds, and hundreds of thousands of heavenly worlds above.
The Vedas say that you can search and search for them all, until you grow weary.
The scriptures say that there are 18,000 worlds, but in reality, there is only One Universe.
If you try to write an account of this, you will surely finish yourself before you finish writing it.
O Nanak, call Him Great! He Himself knows Himself. 22
The praisers praise the Lord, but they do not obtain intuitive understanding
-the streams and rivers flowing into the ocean do not know its vastness.
Even kings and emperors, with mountains of property and oceans of wealth
-these are not even equal to an ant, who does not forget God. 23
Endless are His Praises, endless are those who speak them.
Endless are His Actions, endless are His Gifts.
Endless is His Vision, endless is His Hearing.
His limits cannot be perceived. What is the Mystery of His Mind?
The limits of the created universe cannot be perceived.
Its limits here and beyond cannot be perceived.
Many struggle to know His limits,
but His limits cannot be found.
No one can know these limits.
The more you say about them, the more there still remains to be said.
Great is the Master, High is His Heavenly Home.
Highest of the High, above all is His Name.
Only one as Great and as High as God
can know His Lofty and Exalted State.
Only He Himself is that Great. He Himself knows Himself.
O Nanak, by His Glance of Grace, He bestows His Blessings. 24
His Blessings are so abundant that there can be no written account of them.
The Great Giver does not hold back anything.
There are so many great, heroic warriors begging at the Door of the Infinite Lord.
So many contemplate and dwell upon Him, that they cannot be counted.
So many waste away to death engaged in corruption.
So many take and take again, and then deny receiving.
So many foolish consumers keep on consuming.
So many endure distress, deprivation and constant abuse.
Even these are Your Gifts, O Great Giver!
Liberation from bondage comes only by Your Will.
No one else has any say in this.
If some fool should presume to say that he does,
he shall learn, and feel the effects of his folly.
He Himself knows, He Himself gives.
Few, very few are those who acknowledge this.
One who is blessed to sing the Praises of the Lord,
O Nanak, is the king of kings. 25
Priceless are His Virtues, Priceless are His Dealings.
Priceless are His Dealers, Priceless are His Treasures.
Priceless are those who come to Him, Priceless are those who buy from Him.
Priceless is Love for Him, Priceless is absorption into Him.
Priceless is the Divine Law of Dharma, Priceless is the Divine Court of Justice.
Priceless are the scales, priceless are the weights.
Priceless are His Blessings, Priceless is His Banner and Insignia.
Priceless is His Mercy, Priceless is His Royal Command.
Priceless, O Priceless beyond expression!
Speak of Him continually, and remain absorbed in His Love.
The Vedas and the Puraanas speak.
The scholars speak and lecture.
Brahma speaks, Indra speaks.
The Gopis and Krishna speak.
Shiva speaks, the Siddhas speak.
The many created Buddhas speak.
The demons speak, the demi-gods speak.
The spiritual warriors, the heavenly beings, the silent sages, the humble and serviceful speak.
Many speak and try to describe Him.
Many have spoken of Him over and over again, and have then arisen and departed.
If He were to create as many again as there already are,
even then, they could not describe Him.
He is as Great as He wishes to be.
O Nanak, the True Lord knows.
If anyone presumes to describe God,
he shall be known as the greatest fool of fools! 26
Where is that Gate, and where is that Dwelling, in which You sit and take care of all?
The Sound-current of the Naad vibrates there, and countless musicians play on all sorts of instruments there.
So many Ragas, so many musicians singing there.
The praanic wind, water and fire sing; the Righteous Judge of Dharma sings at Your Door.
Chitr and Gupt, the angels of the conscious and the subconscious who record actions, and the Righteous Judge of Dharma who judges this record sing.
Shiva, Brahma and the Goddess of Beauty, ever adorned, sing.
Indra, seated upon His Throne, sings with the deities at Your Door.
The Siddhas in Samaadhi sing; the Saadhus sing in contemplation.
The celibates, the fanatics, the peacefully accepting and the fearless warriors sing.
The Pandits, the religious scholars who recite the Vedas, with the supreme sages of all the ages, sing.
The Mohinis, the enchanting heavenly beauties who entice hearts in this world, in paradise, and in the underworld of the subconscious sing.
The celestial jewels created by You, and the sixty-eight holy places of pilgrimage sing.
The brave and mighty warriors sing; the spiritual heroes and the four sources of creation sing.
The planets, solar systems and galaxies, created and arranged by Your Hand, sing.
They alone sing, who are pleasing to Your Will. Your devotees are imbued with the Nectar of Your Essence.
So many others sing, they do not come to mind. O Nanak, how can I consider them all?
That True Lord is True, Forever True, and True is His Name.
He is, and shall always be. He shall not depart, even when this Universe which He has created departs.
He created the world, with its various colors, species of beings, and the variety of Maya.
Having created the creation, He watches over it Himself, by His Greatness.
He does whatever He pleases. No order can be issued to Him.
He is the King, the King of kings, the Supreme Lord and Master of kings. Nanak remains subject to His Will. 27
Make contentment your ear-rings, humility your begging bowl, and meditation the ashes you apply to your body.
Let the remembrance of death be the patched coat you wear, let the purity of virginity be your way in the world, and let faith in the Lord be your walking stick.
See the brotherhood of all mankind as the highest order of Yogis; conquer your own mind, and conquer the world.
I bow to Him, I humbly bow.
The Primal One, the Pure Light, without beginning, without end. Throughout all the ages, He is One and the Same. 28
Let spiritual wisdom be your food, and compassion your attendant. The Sound-current of the Naad vibrates in each and every heart.
He Himself is the Supreme Master of all; wealth and miraculous spiritual powers, and all other external tastes and pleasures, are all like beads on a string.
Union with Him, and separation from Him, come by His Will. We come to receive what is written in our destiny.
I bow to Him, I humbly bow.
The Primal One, the Pure Light, without beginning, without end. Throughout all the ages, He is One and the Same. 29
The One Divine Mother conceived and gave birth to the three deities.
One, the Creator of the World; One, the Sustainer; and One, the Destroyer.
He makes things happen according to the Pleasure of His Will. Such is His Celestial Order.
He watches over all, but none see Him. How wonderful this is!
I bow to Him, I humbly bow.
The Primal One, the Pure Light, without beginning, without end. Throughout all the ages, He is One and the Same. 30
On world after world are His Seats of Authority and His Storehouses.
Whatever was put into them, was put there once and for all.
Having created the creation, the Creator Lord watches over it.
O Nanak, True is the Creation of the True Lord.
I bow to Him, I humbly bow.
The Primal One, the Pure Light, without beginning, without end. Throughout all the ages, He is One and the Same. 31
If I had 100,000 tongues, and these were then multiplied twenty times more, with each tongue,
I would repeat, hundreds of thousands of times, the Name of the One, the Lord of the Universe.
Along this path to our Husband Lord, we climb the steps of the ladder, and come to merge with Him.
Hearing of the etheric realms, even worms long to come back home.
O Nanak, by His Grace He is obtained. False are the boastings of the false. 32
No power to speak, no power to keep silent.
No power to beg, no power to give.
No power to live, no power to die.
No power to rule, with wealth and occult mental powers.
No power to gain intuitive understanding, spiritual wisdom and meditation.
No power to find the way to escape from the world.
He alone has the Power in His Hands. He watches over all.
O Nanak, no one is high or low. 33
Nights, days, weeks and seasons;
wind, water, fire and the nether regions
-in the midst of these, He established the earth as a home for Dharma.
Upon it, He placed the various species of beings.
Their names are uncounted and endless.
By their deeds and their actions, they shall be judged.
God Himself is True, and True is His Court.
There, in perfect grace and ease, sit the self-elect, the self-realized Saints.
They receive the Mark of Grace from the Merciful Lord.
The ripe and the unripe, the good and the bad, shall there be judged.
O Nanak, when you go home, you will see this. 34
This is righteous living in the realm of Dharma.
And now we speak of the realm of spiritual wisdom.
So many winds, waters and fires; so many Krishnas and Shivas.
So many Brahmas, fashioning forms of great beauty, adorned and dressed in many colors.
So many worlds and lands for working out karma. So very many lessons to be learned!
So many Indras, so many moons and suns, so many worlds and lands.
So many Siddhas and Buddhas, so many Yogic masters. So many goddesses of various kinds.
So many demi-gods and demons, so many silent sages. So many oceans of jewels.
So many ways of life, so many languages. So many dynasties of rulers.
So many intuitive people, so many selfless servants. O Nanak, His limit has no limit! 35
In the realm of wisdom, spiritual wisdom reigns supreme.
The Sound-current of the Naad vibrates there, amidst the sounds and the sights of bliss.
In the realm of humility, the Word is Beauty.
Forms of incomparable beauty are fashioned there.
These things cannot be described.
One who tries to speak of these shall regret the attempt.
The intuitive consciousness, intellect and understanding of the mind are shaped there.
The consciousness of the spiritual warriors and the Siddhas, the beings of spiritual perfection, are shaped there. 36
In the realm of karma, the Word is Power.
No one else dwells there,
except the warriors of great power, the spiritual heroes.
They are totally fulfilled, imbued with the Lord's Essence.
Myriads of Sitas are there, cool and calm in their majestic glory.
Their beauty cannot be described.
Neither death nor deception comes to those,
within whose minds the Lord abides.
The devotees of many worlds dwell there.
They celebrate; their minds are imbued with the True Lord.
In the realm of Truth, the Formless Lord abides.
Having created the creation, He watches over it. By His Glance of Grace, He bestows happiness.
There are planets, solar systems and galaxies.
If one speaks of them, there is no limit, no end.
There are worlds upon worlds of His Creation.
As He commands, so they exist.
He watches over all, and contemplating the creation, He rejoices.
O Nanak, to describe this is as hard as steel! 37
Let self-control be the furnace, and patience the goldsmith.
Let understanding be the anvil, and spiritual wisdom the tools.
With the Fear of God as the bellows, fan the flames of tapa, the body's inner heat.
In the crucible of love, melt the Nectar of the Name,
and mint the True Coin of the Shabad, the Word of God.
Such is the karma of those upon whom He has cast His Glance of Grace.
O Nanak, the Merciful Lord, by His Grace, uplifts and exalts them. 38

Shalok:
Air is the Guru, Water is the Father, and Earth is the Great Mother of all.
Day and night are the two nurses, in whose lap all the world is at play.
Good deeds and bad deeds-the record is read out in the Presence of the Lord of Dharma.
According to their own actions, some are drawn closer, and some are driven farther away.
Those who have meditated on the Naam, the Name of the Lord, and departed after having worked by the sweat of their brows
-O Nanak, their faces are radiant in the Court of the Lord, and many are saved along with them!

Of a Happy Mind and a Pessimistic Heart

I am involved in something which is quite stimulating to a happy mind, though a bit worrying to a pessimistic heart.

From the happy mind
During the course of this "activity", I stumbled upon a thought which may warrant further discussion with a bored fellow geek on a sleepy Sunday afternoon. Here goes:

Hypothesis
Study of the interaction of vibes between a pair of people (or even broader, a pair of entities, e.g. a person and a song that he is listening to) could be used for predictive purposes.

How it works?
Imagine the interaction of vibes as super-positioning of two-dimensional waveforms. Assumption: the brain of each person knows enough about them to be able to draw out their own waveform (Wave[self]) when required. This waveform may not always be correct and therefore we only too often have situations like “he thinks too highly of himself”! Delusion of grandeur or impression of worthlessness can be attributed to the brain drawing the Wave[self] wrong. Perception of self can be faulty, no doubt.

Step 1: The person comes in contact with another person (“Alien”). The interaction with the Alien is by means of one or more senses: eye, nose, touch, ear, tongue.
Step 2: The five senses meet for a “round-table discussion” to ascertain the waveform (Wave[alien]) for the alien. Each sense contributes depending on what it perceived. It is possible that a sense does not report anything due to lack of data, for example, interaction was on phone, therefore nothing for eye, nose, touch and tongue to report - that could also explain that we understand a person best and completely when as many senses are involved as possible (though of course, all senses especially tongue cannot always be involved!).
Step 3: Based on the assertion from the round-table discussion, a second section of the brain (a first section stores Wave[self]) tries to draw Wave[alien]. Just as with Wave[self], Wave[alien] may be drawn entirely wrongly, but as they say perception is the reality.
Step 4: Brain superposes Wave[self] and Wave[alien] and determines the outcome. It may result in the two superposing waves reinforcing each other (Good vibe) , resulting in a zero wave (no effect, though both in theory and practice it is hardly the case, as in we may have a mild positive or negative feeling about almost everything we come in contact with) or result in the two superposing waves weakening each other and in phase with Wave[alien] i.e. negative to self (bad vibe)
Step 5: Brain sends signal to all of its “reportees” (the senses it controls) to act according to the result of super-positioning e.g. “kiss him” or “kick him”!

Example from and use in real life
Example: Friends are often able to “predict” whether someone will like another entity (a person, a piece of literature etc) based on their perception of Wave[friend] (its not Wave[self] as they are not predicting for themselves) and Wave[alien]. That their prediction is wrong can again be attributed to their faulty perception i.e. wrong data and not on the applicability of the theory.
Use: By systematically capturing what the different senses ascertain of the alien, prediction could be made (using regressive analysis or other statistical tools) which indicate the likelihood of the user of the theory towards liking or disliking the alien.

If we can devise a way to represent vibes (essentially what the different senses “pick up”), perhaps like a written notation for music, we should be able to predict how two entities will behave when they interact based only on some data on their "vibeprint" (inspired from fingerprint).

From the pessimistic heart
(with credits to Harry Connick, Jr.)

Promise me you'll remember
This love together today
We may not have tomorrow
It's not for us to say

Fate isn't kind to lovers
It breaks the hardest heart
Promise me you'll remember
How good we are

Why do I find the sadness
Under your sweetest kiss
Destiny seems to whisper
It won't stay like this

When wherever we're together
I feel time standing still
I only know I love you
And I always will

If we should lose each other
Somewhere inside the dark
Promise me you'll remember
How good we are

Same old story...

ज़हर देता है मुझे कोई दवा देता है
जो भी मिलता है मेरे ग़म को बढा देता है

किसी हमदम का सरे शाम जुदा हो जाना
नींद जलती हुई आखों से उड़ा देता है

वक्त्त ही दर्द के काटों पे सुलाये दिल को
वक्त्त ही दर्द का एह्सास मिटा देता है

When does it end?

A night outside a call center

It was one of those days about which you have no idea as to why events transpired in the way they did and if there'll be another day like that, ever. Late evening calls with firangis, a bit excessive chatter directed at pretending to solve the world's mess and a latent wish to delay the weekend led me into a situation where polite conversation didn't help. Large, dull black gates are not generally known to open themselves at the behest of an underfed, and an ever-accepting tenant who is looking for a night's sleep and a potentially boring weekend ahead.

Anywho, the search for ik mutthi aasman led to the revelation - as it usually does - jhingur! Starting as my only friend in Pune to being my supplier of daily hygiene needs when the UP government skips sending some water my way on certain mornings, Jhings has had a broad impact on my otherwise monotonous lifey. As always, he cheerfully welcomed an unexpected raat ka humsafar and I was on my way to meet the jhings-bajpai-maggie trio, who were searching for a few steamy ... sips - gosh, you filthy mind - of late night roadside tea, one of the simple joys of middle-class life. The night seemed to promise more tafri while mates didn't, so jhings and I were back home visualizing many-an-eye-candy in our choice of attire and after some pillow talk we were almost ready to crash. And then, as in most good scripts, the phone rang.

For a simple one like me, a girl's voice, a nice one at that, at 4am is something. Anyway, having scored a bit too well in moral science all along, courtesy sometimes overflows inside. In a span of a breath or two, Jhings and I were off to meet what I had heard was a pretty, pretty nice girl. And nice she was, a walking TV so to say. I am sure all of us have experienced meeting people, who within a minute seem like long time friends, ones you feel instantly comfortable with.

Jhings' friend had brought another friend of hers. What a lovely girl! I mean, her demeanor, her rather radiant and mystic smile, her pleasant manner, her overall daintiness, and her eyes. Her eyes, boy-o-boy, those eyes of hers! Serious, that pair seemed like some sort of rare, precious gems which only a geological rarity can produce. Such depth... hazel tinge... that twinkle. I have always told people that if they haven't seen a full moon on a clear night using a powerful telescope, they haven’t quite seen what a mesmerizing thing of beauty can be. But, those eyes of her were no less than a feature rich moon surface. You know the eyes that talk, those sorts.

And as if the eyes weren't enough, she had a smile to die for! She had about five states of appearance, smiling, smiling, smiling, smiling, and smiling. And what a smile! I meant what-a-smile! The smile that tells you she can read what's on your mind. The smile that embodies genuine amusement. The smile that's infectious enough for you to see the light and bright side of life’s things. The smile that is so friendly that the age-of-acquaintance becomes immaterial. The smile that asks you to smile with it. That smile.

Post mid-night darkness led to dawn and a few bonfires and some chatter later it was decided to begin the day with some early-morning-sale shopping at UCB. Nice experience, and with the ladies lending their sense of style, Jhings and I wrapped the shopping expedition quick and with satiation. Satiation, at last.

The time had come to be gone and back home it was time to hallucinate. Hallucinate, again.

Phir kuch is dil ko beqraari hai
Seena zoya-e-zakhm-e-qaari hai

Bekhudi besabab nahin 'Jango'
Kuch to hai jis ki pardadaari hai

I am Jack's Embarrassment!

I am cool coding
I enable getting together
Of strangers and lovers
For business and pleasure

I am about notifications
The powerful few lines
Those cheer a beau
And irk a boss

I send text, and
I send voice, too
Beta is current avatar
Already king of IM'ing

A mini-me within Gmail
Daddy's software's alpha male
A blue blooded pedigree
Every offering for free

I enable my users
To flag their status
With a few words
Some wit, some dull

I can also flag
The currently playing track
Some music, some not
The Simpsons, Midnight Hot!

है इसी में प्यार की आबरू

है इसी में प्यार की आबरू
वो जफा करें मैं वफा करूं
जो वफा भी काम ना आ सके
तो वही कहें के मैं क्या करूं

मुझे ग़म भी उनका अज़ीज़ है
के उंही की दी हुई चीज़ है
येही ग़म है अब मेरी ज़िन्दगी
इसे कैसे दिल से जुदा करूं

जो ना बन सके मैं वो बात हूं
जो ना खत्म हो मैं वो रात हूं
ये लिखा है मेरे नसीब में
युहीं शमा बन के जला करूं

ना किसी के दिल की हूं आरज़ू
ना किसी नज़र की जूस्तजू
मैं वो फूल हूं जो उदास हूं
ना बहार आये तो मैं क्या करूं

Omkara: The movie and its review

I am not even going to attempt writing a review for the movie (which I quite liked) because I read this: http://brangan.easyjournal.com/entry.aspx?eid=3011791

If movie was good, wait till you read the review. I am left wondering whether the review is written so damn well because of the movie or does the blogger write this well habitually. May be reading more of those posts will help...

Go watch and go read.

B-Theory Quotes

In accordance with the B-Theory (topic of another post), I am building a repository of junk quotes, which I think are originally attributable to me! ;-)

So here goes:
1. When the going gets tough, look at the compliment set.
2. My life is like my lips, rosy but useless.
3. We must have a life separate from love. We don't understand the beast. Just as we don't know how it comes, we don't know how it leaves us.
4. Drawing parallels is the new wrapper from the house of brilliance.
5. A life spent with music, books and being nice is a life well spent.
6. Chivalry is a Bombay import.
7. Most of the world operates at a sub-optimal level, global maxima exists mostly in theory.
8. Driving on Noida roads is akin to taking a step closer to a complete disbelief in the goodness of mankind.
9. It is possible to be a hypocrite and not even know that you are one.
10. In north India, there are no traffic rules - only car sizes.
11. You can never shop enough, can you woman?
12. If First me, then you then Fuck You.
13. Collective Responsibility is the single most potent way to screw a task and make sure it won't get done as well as it can be done.
14. Haramkhori on the Corporate's expense is a tribute to the spirit of our overworked, underpaid, overtaxed friends. It is akin to orgasm for single wo/men.
15. I asked God for "Fire in my belly". He said Amen. Now, I am a premium customer of Digene. 16. When I was young, my parents asked God to make me a good kid. Then, time froze.
17. It is tough to find love, with good girls 'affection assymetry' comes into play.
18. I have started spelling it as assid. (For The Duh, it = acid)
19. The mediocre don't even sin well or enough.
20. Suddenly, life is a bitch again.
21. If everyone's friend is "THE BEST" or "THE COOLEST" or "THE DUDE" why is the world still such a suckey place?
22. I am so ordinary that it took me 25 years to even realize that I am so.
23. I think assholes are born not made.
24. I never regret about the things I say, I only regret about the things I don't say.
25. Stupid is what stupid asks.
26. Pray to God but keep oiling the hair.
27. All it takes is a stingray to kill a Steve Irwin :( [New]

रोया करेंगे आप भी पैहरों इसी तरह

It has been a while that I quoted poetry or even wrote here, but talking to someone at length last evening reminded me of this:

रोया करेंगे आप भी पैहरों इसी तरह
अटका कहीं जो आपका दिल भी मेरी तरह

ना ताब हिज्र में है ना आराम वस्ल में
कमब्ख्त दिल को चैन नहीं किसी तरह

मर चुक कहीं के तू ग़म-ए-हिज्रा से छूट जाये
कहते तो हैं भले की वो लेकिन बुरी तरह

ना जाये वा बनी है ना बिन जाये चैन है
क्या कीजीये हमे तो है मुशकिल सभी तरह

हूं जान बलब बुताने सितमगर के हाथ से
क्या सब जहां में जीते हैं ‘मोमिन’ इसी तरह

Only that it doesn’t take a ‘Momin’ to understand his timeless words.

Working Class Hero

I was busy all these days, trying to put together a life, like any other working class fellow. A tribute to all of them (and us), in the so-true words of John Lennon

As soon as you're born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty-odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear
A working class hero is something to be

Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
And you think you're so clever and classless and free
But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see
A working class hero is something to be

There's room at the top they're telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill
If you want to be like the folks on the hill
A working class hero is something to be

If you want to be a hero well just follow me

मुझे मत रोको

The lyrics of the song aren't extra-ordinary but somehow the way Kavita Seth has rendered the composition is quite soulful. I mean some relief amongst all this crap that FM channels keep churning.

मुझे मत रोको मुझे यार के घर जाने दो
मैं हूं परवाना मुझे शम्मा पे मिट जाने दो

उसको पाना ही मेरी ज़िन्दगी का मक्सद है
गर वो मिलता है मुझे मर के तो मर जाने दो

दिल की आंखों ने मेरी अपना सनम देख लिया
अब इसी दर पे मेरे दम को निकल जाने दो

Listen to the song and the album on Raaga. Checkout other popular sufi/ghazal compositions from the lady, worth a listen.

Apparently, Chandigarh does have its share of classical centric cultural activity going on in Pracheen Kala Kendra (Web of melody captures city audience), should catch one of these concerts sometime.

B-Theory Punchlines

(I believe the following are original compositions, any aberration may be reported)

Punchline:
Fuddu, fuddu fuddu fuddu yeh jahan
Fuddu, fuddu hum bhi yahan
Product: Life in 2006
Inspiration: Rang De Basanti - Ziddi

Punchline (more like an anthem):
Shit kari sukh karan
Shit kari dukh hoye
Nagar dhindhora pher doon
Shit na kariyo koye!
Group: Association of the Victims of Acidity
Inspiration: Tirlok Gurtu - Remembrance

Punchline: Give us 15 minutes, just 15 minutes, we'll change your life
Product: Prostitutional Inc's Devirginator
Inspiration: Bajaj Capital

Punchline: No one can beat you (as well as we can)
Product: Delhi Police ka danda
Inspiration: Slobodan Milosevic

Punchline: Clean Hair, Green Hair
Product: Fructis (for dry and damaged hair)
Inspiration: Delhi Government

Punchline: Thoda aur chalega
Product: Car-backing collision protection device
Inspiration: Saffola

Punchline: Hum Hain Na!
Product: Bhojpuri version of Main Hoon Na
Inspiration: ICICI Bank

Punchline: Kuch log Sumo Victa chalate hain!
Product: BPO's Population Eliminator
Inspiration: Sumo Victa

(Watch this space!)

Social Entrepreneurism

Aaditeshwar Seth has done an excellent job of collecting link and writing briefs about a lot of efforts going in this area (on my wishlist for years now, time to see some action, I guess). See his meticulously created blog.
Though I have never met him but have heard about him from my ex-roomates. This guy needs to be tracked, followed and read!

As the congressmen like to say: Aaditeshwar aage badho, hum tumhaare saath hain! :)

Generating Jobs: Indian Legislature Style

What the fuck is going on?

I haven't had any time to read about this new legislation thing in papers, but from what I've heard around and read in emails, this absolutely sucks. I mean 50% reservation in the 21st century. Are you out of your frickin' mind or something? It is no surprise that no political party is opposing it too. Damn you guys, go eat some crap. what good is the reservation supposed to do? Does anyone make sure that reservation is being used for the upliftment? I guess not, there were this brother and sister duo in my college who entered through the SC quota. And they were certainly not from under-privileged strata of the society. Both their parents were IAS officers. And yes, the parents themselves became IAS (and rose through the ranks) because of quota. Isn't this ridiculous? As if these quotas were not enough, there is a quota for freedom fighter's grandchildren, a defence services quota, a sportsperson quota. Where does it stop? Most of the people filling the seats in the last three quotas come from families which certainly don't need government aid to make ends meet. And whats with waiting 50 years for upliftment of the downtrodden?

This is a sure shot receipe for societal chaos and eventual breakdown. And we (including me) should not let it happen. For beginners, please join the Anti-Reservation Action Forum on orkut, I am not sure what they plan to do, but at the least it will be a single way to address people who are concerned.

Then, please sign this petition and this.

I am also looking for ways to use private firms to form a policy that will cause rebellion against the ridiculous legislation. Here is how it is supposed to work: Private firms decide not to go to campuses, hire only through their own recruitment process which filters the wheat from the chaff, campuses forsee tougher time and a dilution of their brand (lets face it most people know certain campuses only because certain firms visit those campuses and the foolish cycle continues), and thus the campuses, with all their faculty, current student and alumni - basically the crème de la crème of the society rises, more actively than at present, against the bill. Any pointers to such a thing already taking place will help.

Ah, coming to the subject of this post, on deeper thought, I conclude that the legislature let this bill pass to conform to their long standing promise of generating jobs. Here is how, let's make it a figure-it-out-yourself exercise.

1. Go to the nearest video rental shop and rent The Day of the Jackal
2. As you will notice, a lot of men, at one count about 100,000 are in one way or the other involved in catching Jackal.
3. Think about what this reservation will lead young, capable, and frustated guys into.
4. Yes, crime is the answer.
5. Who is incharge of (how successful is the story of another day) keeping tabs on crime?
6. Good, you're learning. It is the Government.
7. What is needed to keep tabs on crime?
8. Yes, men (Or "yes men", whatever)
9. So more crimes mean more men required.
10. More men required means, more jobs.

Ah, there is a little problem. 50 % of these men will be from the Scheduled and Other Backward Castes. All their life they would have gotten in through the backdoor. So they will be less capable of doing anything right. Or, lets just say less willing. So they will encourage corruption. And more crime. Voila! This is a self perpetuating way of creating jobs. Hail reservation.

I am disgusted.

The Hymn of Creation

श्रिष्टी से पहले सत नहीं था, असत भी नहीं
अंतरिक्ष भी नहीं, आकाश भी नहीं था
छिपा था क्या, कहाँ, किसने ढ़का था
उस पल तो अगम, अटल जल भी कहाँ था

श्रिष्टी का कौन है कर्ता
कर्ता है वा अकर्ता
ऊचे आकाश में रहता
सदा अध्यक्ष बना रहता

वही सचमुच में जानता, या नहीं भी जानता
है किसी को नहीं पता, नहीं पता
नहीं है पता, नहीं है पता

वह था हिर्नयागर्भ श्रिष्टी से पहले विद्यमान
वही तो सारे भूत जात का स्वामी महान
जो है अस्तित्वमान धरती आसमान धारन कर
ऐसे किस देवता कि उपासना करें हम अवि देकर

जिस के बल पर तेजोमय है अंबर
प्रिथ्वी हरी भरी स्थापित स्थिर
स्वर्ग और सूरज भी स्थिर
ऐसे किस देवता की उपासना करें हम अवि देकर

गर्भ में अपने अग्नी धारन कर पैदा कर
व्याप्या था जल इधर उधर नीचे उपर
जगा चुके वो का एक्मेव प्रान बनकर
ऐसे किस देवता की उपासना करें हम अवि देकर

ॐ! श्रिष्टी निर्माता स्वर्ग रच्येता पूरवज रक्षा कर
सत्य धर्म पालक अतुल जल नियामक रक्षा कर
फैली हैं दिशायें बाहू जैसी उसकी सब में सब पर
ऐसे ही देवता की उपासना करें हम अवि देकर
ऐसे ही देवता की उपासना करें हम अवि देकर

This is not only supernatural like all of other Hindu chants but also brings nostgalic memories of Shyam Benegal's masterpiece. I'm looking for a source to download/buy the episodes of 'Bharat ek Khoj', any pointers will be highly appreciated.

Transliteration Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bharat_Ek_Khoj
English Translation: http://www.crhc.uiuc.edu/~vbhandar/hymn_of_creation.html
MP3 Download http://www.coolgoose.com/music/song.php?id=211300

US Trip Photos

http://charlotte.lti.cs.cmu.edu/zombie/photos/dc/

(DSCN1066.jpg, sorry they ain't chocs, the thumbnail I viewed while writing commentary was too small!)

Download speeds aren't very exciting though, could be a temporary thing.

I'll be uploading to other locations soon.

Looking Around

Mehra read an interesting article [first recorded kiss traced back to India!] on kissing, and Munjal visited Israel (good pictures).

KabiraSpeaking tries to find the logic behind Americans having their water on the rocks in a post aptly titled "Water No Ice Please, we are Indian". Of course, Indian as I am, I found it strange too. I mean, what the heck! I called for water, paani - paa nee, baraf nahin - no ice.

George Constanza's Words of Wisdom!

I found this hilarious:

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in a old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen.

Depression ki ...

Rashmi wrote an excellent post some time ago, I just happened to read it today.

Depression is such a depressing beast that even the thought of it is depressing. It can get very tough for the person suffering from it and those around. My father went through depression and hard it was. The helplessness associated with depression is immense.

And I don't know why, I think I have a natural tendency to get depressed. May be it is because depression is known to have genetic effects. It is weird how things start seeming uninteresting, music starts seeming repetitive, and concentration goes for a vacation.

Gosh, even writing this is making me feel depressed, so am winding up here.

Be happy and don't think too much about it.

If it has gotten too depressing (like it has for me), read about and listen to some swear songs at
http://sify.com/news/fullstory.php?id=14128125 and http://www.jammag.com/etc/etcshow.php?art_id=21

Swear songs from an XL (XLRI Jamshedpur) Band at http://www.jammag.com/rock/show_rock.php?article_id=66

As they say, Depression ki G*** mein danda de!

Chillaxin!

No, this isn't only a lower middle class B. Tech. lingo, it is also an absolutely fabulous composition from my new favorite Jazz man, Eugene Groove. Tune in to Narada Radio for the allegedly love-making song! Also, few samples on the MSN Radio.

Others that I have absolutely loved are:

Euge Groove - Get 'em going
Gabriela Anders - Go to my head, Abracadabra
Brenda Russel - When you're coming back to me
Molly Johnson - Melody
Jeff Lorber - Flipside
DeeDee Bridgewater - Watermelon man
Jason Miles - Sexual Healing
Ozzie Ahlers - Night on the town
Down to the bone - I'll always hold you close
Incognito - Will I ever learn?

Chillax!

Henry David Thoreau: Wisdom!

I have been following quotes from Henry David Thoreau for a while and now my reading has reached a critical mass for a post here! Without further ado, here are the quotes that I could relate to the most:

About Money/Wealth
1. A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
2. That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.
3. The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.

About Living
1. Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
2. Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
3. Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality.
4. Be not simply good; be good for something.
5. Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it.
6. The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools, but the gentle touches of air and water working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.

About Solitude
1. I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.
2. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.
3. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.

Of course, I will keep updating the above list when I come across more of quotes from the master.

V Day ...

... meant Visa interview for me! But anyway, shouldn't let the day pass without dedicating some words for the pretty. And the beautiful thing is that these words are from the pretty - Gabriela Anders, am totally in love with her smooth jazz vocals. ;-)

You go to my head and you linger like a haunting refrain
And I find you spinning 'round in my brain
Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne
You go to my head like a sip of sparkling wine
And your smile makes my temperature rise
Like a summer with a thousand Julys
Don't have a ghost of a chance in this crazy romance
You go to my head
Don't have a ghost of a chance in this crazy romance
You go to my head

You go to my head and you linger like a haunting refrain
And I find you spinning 'round in my brain
Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne
You intoxicate my soul with your eyes
I only hope I can make you mine
You go to my head
You intoxicate my soul with your eyes
I only hope I can make you mine
You go to my head
You go to my head

Don't have a ghost of a chance in this crazy romance
You go to my head
You go to my head
Don't have a ghost of a chance in this crazy romance
You go to my head

You intoxicate my soul with your eyes
I only hope I can make you mine
You go to my head
You go to my head
You go to my head

I can make you mine
I can make you mine
You go to my head
Like the bubbles of champagne

Color de Brillianti

I was just about to skip watching Rang De Basanti, like I allowed myself, in the recent past, to miss other (potentially) good movies like Amu. That didn't happen though because a friend strongly suggested I go and watch the movie, more so because "... that guy who plays Anupam Kher's son, I forget his name, his eyes and mannerisms are quite like yours...". Intrigued as I was, I did end up watching the movie. And this is what I wrote to my friend:

... now, thanks for recommending the movie. I LOVED IT. I think such movies are made only once in few years. I liked almost every bit of it. Yes, I agree the end could have been a little less dramatic, but the sheer brilliance in most of the other parts of the movie was enough for a cynic viewer like me to forgive the drama. So, I liked it, will watch it again [I did infact watch it again], highly recommended to anyone who has not seen it. I liked several things, particularly:

1. At a subconscious level, I have been a proponent of delivering content (in this case the script of the movie) by having two tracks. For example, in the movie we had a story from the early 1900s and a story from the early 2000s. I think this helps gripping viewer interest/concentration and the parallels that can be drawn, interspersing fundas from the two stories can be brilliant. I subconciously made several attempts doing so in my blog posts, an example is http://zombieworld.blogspot.com/2005/07/bad-times-good-spirits.html (the backdrop is a ghazal, which I totally love, and in the normal course I am talking about what my colleagues and I went through).
2. I like the subtle attempt at introducing religion [at the least an attempt at understanding what it stands for] to the youth. I was fortunate enough to meet an uncle of mine who said something similar. Read http://zombieworld.blogspot.com/2005/09/being-spiritual.html. Co-incidentally, this is the same Paath, which is in the movie. A post of mine which attempts to combine 1 (two tracks) and 2 (religion) is at http://zombieworld.blogspot.com/2005/11/humorous-interpretations-of-god.html.
3. I have been personally pained by the crash of MiG 21s. Living in Chandigarh, one can read about a crashed MiG more frequently than one cares to. So I am kind of satiated that this has been brought to the fore.
4. I had a chance to be at several funerals of army men, mostly young lads, who were brave enough to stop thinking about themselves and capture a hill post for the nation. I have friends in the Indian army who at 20 something are sitting in Arunachal Pradesh and guarding the Indian border from the Chinese. These are the real men of honor, we are sissies. I could totally relate to the rage of the junta at seeing a young and handsome one of theirs die - go to a place where no one comes back from. The sequence in the movie is still a peace time army man funeral. During war time - like the ones I witnessed while in Kasauli during the Kargil war - are a time of enraged emotions and very moving.
5. Like any other 20 something, I am also clueless about where life is heading - this is fairly a no-brainer.
6. The sequence towards the end in which the youth of the nation are shown enraged at the "death of democracy" is just brilliantly done. I mean not for once did any of the about 30 characters in that sequence seem to be acting. Not their dialogues, not their accent. So the correspondent in Calcutta was with people who had a genuine Bengali accent, and so on for Kashmiri, and others. The role of NDTV was integrated really well into the movie, I haven't seem any comparable integration of the depiction of "media" into a Hindi movie. Of course, several English movies exist with such integration.
7. The notion of holing up of "terrorists" and commando action such that "there should be no survivors" is too real. Growing up proximate to a terrorist affected Punjab, I have seen instances where the police never made an attempt at determining if the hiding youth are actually terrorists and made sure that after the "commando action" only bodies are brought out. For if any of the "terrorists" survive, the Human Rights Commission will make KPS Gill's wishkey unsavory. Some of the enraged Sikh youth during the Punjab militancy days did not choose the gun because they wanted a "Khalistan", but because they were too fed up to take the police's attrocities any more. Maachis, the Gulzar movie depicts this well enough. I am not too aware of the Kashmiri situation but I guess there would be a component of police/army atrocity enraging the youth.
8. I made every attempt at finding similarities between the look of Karan (Anupam Kher's son) and myself and miserably failed. I think you forgot how I looked [sic]. You are going to be mighty disappointed at meeting me if you thought that Karan looks like me!
9. Soha Ali looks wow, really wow. I think I will ditch my plans of never marrying and add her to my matrix that determines the ideal match!

I am sorry the above will not make you laugh, but you know what, laughing is just one embodiment of bliss and a satiated self is also blissful. If you shared any of the above thoughts (I know you don't share my views on Soha Ali) you will feel blissful at a subconscious level and thus be happy.

Have a good day ahead.

Acappella!

The new Honda ad is awesome! I have made several not-so-popular attempts at Acappella while at school and Infosys. The latest one was in anticipation of a wild new year's party this year, for which my friend and I had prepared a muscular-movement-cum-acappella-background-music item! The eve turned out to be disappointing, Daman ain't too cool a place. But yes, I'm a fan of the genre.

In Love With Narada

http://www.narada.com/Radio/RadioNarada.htm

Awesome!

Quoted in Mumbai Mirror

My post Enterprise and Flying Adventure was quoted by Mumbai Mirror, in the section Blogger's views! This is amusing since I never went and linked my blog, they did it themselves. Thats fine.

I'm not going to start a copyright violation or whatever thingy, like Rashmi did. I think as long as people who are quoting you say that they're quoting you, its fine.

Infact, Siliconeer, a Silicon Valley based magazine wanted to cover my engineering project, Deepti. After a brief intro email, and a few questions, they disappeared. That month they featured the project as cover story - a senior walking down a San Jose street saw the magazine and called to ask if I was the same "Rahul Jindal"! The Siliconeer guys had marked the "story" as authored by me! A large part of the content was taken from the project website (earlier at http://deepti.nourl.org), but I think that is fine, as long as they're crediting the author (me in this case) and driving the point (the content) home.

Funny as it is, even though I work as an Intellectual Property (which includes copyright) Analyst, I'm open-source when it comes to myself :)

[Some more] [Mirage] [of Sublimity]

मैं हूँ मुशताक़-ए-जफा मुझ पर जफा और सही
तुम हो बेदाद से खुश इस से सिवा और सही

[मुशताक़-ए-जफा = keenly oppressed, जफा = oppression (v.), बेदाद = oppression (n.)]

हुस्न में हूर से बढकर नहीं होने के कभी
आपका शेवा-ओ-अन्दाज़ो अदा और सही
[हूर = Virgin of Paradise, शेवा-ओ-अन्दाज़ो अदा = your style (way?) of beauty]

तेरे कूचे का है माईल दिल मुज़्तर मेरा
काबा इक और सही किब्लानुमां और सही
[कूचे = lane, माईल = obliged, मुज़्तर = restless, काबा = house of Allah in Mecca, किब्लानुमां = direction for prayer]

क्यों ना फिरदोस मैं दोज़ख को मिल लें या रब
सैर के वासते थोड़ी सी फज़ा और सही
[फिरदोस = heaven, दोज़ख = hell, फज़ा = environment/atmosphere]

मुझको वो दो के जिसे खाके ना पानी मांगू
ज़ेहर कुछ और सही आबेबका और सही
[आबेबका = nectar (?)]

In case you were wondering, I don't provide an interpretation because I believe doing so is error prone, and more importantly, limiting. Poetry in general and Ghalib's poetry in particular is supernatural in the sense that state of mind affects the interpretation and out-of-context (for an other) often sounds ridiculous. That said, I'd love to find one to discuss interpretations of Ghalib's masterpieces!

Enterprise and Flying Adventure

It is just co-incidental that I came across, in a matter of 2 days, three different (and separated in time from each other) instances of very enterprising and successful men having a penchant for attempting daring record making (or record breaking) feats.

First, I happened to watch Aviator, starring Leonardo DiCaprio in the role of Howard Hughes. Hughes, a locally famous moniker for a telecommunication software company, was a first generation entrepreneur, who ventured into several diverse ventures, from movies to computer networks. Hughes, among other things got extremely interested in flying (and building) planes. If the depiction in the movie is accurate, Hughes would fly every first model himself (and risk his own life) and make records in the process. He also built (and defended against the monopolistic giant, Pan Am) a cross-Atlantic airline TWA. Interesting note: Hughes, a school dropout, started his career as a movie producer.

Second, History Channel was running the biography of Sir Richard Branson. He too founded, a cross-Atlantic airline, Virgin Atlantic, after running a successful records company, Virgin Records. Branson is also an acclaimed adventurer, especially flying related adventure. In order to garner publicity for the new airline (with only one second-hand 747), Branson set out to break the then existing record for a sea-cruise across the Atlantic, with the Voyager mission. The mission was a failure, but not big enough to daunt Branson. He did end up breaking the record in the sequel to the mission, called Voyager 2. Continuing risking his own life (again for the purpose of publicity for his airline), and satiating his desire for adventure, he undertook record-making, and almost always ending up in a potentially fatal disaster, hot-air balloon trips across the Atlantic, across the Pacific, and across the world! In one of the trips, his balloon shot up suddenly to a height of 42,000 Ft, in another lost 3 cylinder full of gas, blew away and crash-landed in Algerian desert in another, and landed in the Pacific in yet another. But nothing would daunt the enterprising spirit. Interesting note: Branson started his career with a record shop (again, not as a pilot, and just like Hughes, fought against and survived British Airways' 'Dirty Tricks' campaign). Still more interesting, Branson blogs at BransonBlog!

Third, CNBC ran a small before-the-event feature on "Singhania's daring attempt". Dr. Vijaypat Singhania, Chairman Emeritus of the Raymond Group, is a well-recognized proponent of aviation related adventure. Singhania holds the solo aviation related Guinness Book of World Records record for solo flight in a microlight aircraft from London to Ahmedabad in 1988. He's again attempting (also here and here) to break a world record today, by flying to 70,000 Ft in a balloon (the size of a 30-storey building). He's got 5,000 hours of flying experience, among other aviation related feats, and is an honorary Air Commodore of the Indian Air Force, and a WW II war-bird owner. Interesting note: He financed a flop Hindi movie!

"The sky is the limit", must be the most cliched inspiring thought in any form and scale of enterprise. Guess, some take it more seriously!

Update: Vijaypat Singhania creates hot-air balloon record. He did it!

27 Interesting Facts

I found this link interesting (follow the link to see pointers to webpages containing proof for the points below)

Top 27 unbelievable facts that most people don’t know
27. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
26. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it.
25. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
24. Its impossible to smoke oneself to death with weed. You won't be able to retain enough motor control and consciousness to do so after such a large amount. (Common Sense)
23. Uncle Phil, from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, did the voice of Shredder in the TMNT cartoon.
22. Every drop of seawater contains approximately 1 billion gold atoms.
21. The US national anthem actually has three verses, but everyone just knows the first one.
20. During World War II, IBM built the computers the Nazis used to manage their death/concentration camps.
19. The total combined weight of the worlds ant population is heavier than the weight of the human population.
18. The deadliest war in history excluding World War II was a civil war in China in the 1850s in which the rebels were led by a man who thought he was the brother of Jesus Christ.
17. Just about 3 people are born every second, and about 1.3333 people die every second. The result is about a 2 and 2/3 net increase of people every second. Almost 10 people more live on this Earth now, than before you finished reading this.
16. Happy Birthday (the song) is copyrighted.
15. The number of people alive on earth right now is higher than the number of all the people that have died. Ever.
14. The average American consumes 1.2 pounds of spider eggs a year and eat 2.5 pounds of insect parts a year.
13. The Kamp Krusty episode of the Simpson’s was originally meant to be made as the Simpsons movie.
12. Men can breastfeed babies
11. There is a rare condition called Exploding Head Syndrome which you've probably never heard of.
10. Scientists have determined that fungi are more closely related to human beings and animals than to other plants.
9. In some (maybe all) Asian countries, the family name is written first and the individual name written second (opposite of the America method). That's why Asian athletes like Yao Ming and Ichiro Suzuki have Yao and Ichiro written on their jerseys. Those are their family names and in America their names are written Ming Yao and Suzuki Ichiro.
8. Abe Lincoln bought 50 cents worth of cocaine in 1860
7. A German World War II submarine was sunk due to malfunction of the toilet.
6. Washington State has the longest single beach in the United States. Long Beach, WA.
5. The largest living thing on the face of the Earth is a mushroom underground in Oregon, it measures three and a half miles in diameter.
4. The town of Los Angeles, California, was originally named El Pueblo la Nuestra Senora de Reina de los Angeles de la Porciuncula.
3. 9 out of 10 people believe Thomas Edison invented the light bulb. This isn’t true; Joseph Swan did.
2. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.
1. The Population of the world can live within the state boundaries of Texas.

(Though some of the [apparent?] facts are also contested! See the link)

... I've Been Thinking

... I've been thinking. Tomorrow it will be 28 years to the day that I've been in the service. Twenty-eight years in peace and war. I don't suppose I've been at home more than ten months in all that time. Still, it's been a good life. I love India. I wouldn't have had it any other way. But there are times... when suddenly you realize you're nearer the end than the beginning. You wonder... you ask yourself... what the sum total of your life represents... what difference your being there at any time made to anything... or if it made any difference at all really. Particularly in comparison with other men's careers. I don't know whether that kind of thinking is very healthy... but I must admit I've had some thoughts along those lines... from time to time.

-Colonel Nicholson in The Bridge on The River Kwai - said this on the evening the bridge got completed.
(A must watch movie, for more reasons than one)

Other personal quotes from the actor, Alec Guinness, who very finely played the role of a military martinet in the movie.

"Failure has a thousand explanations. Success doesn't need one."

"We live in an age of apologies. Apologies, False or true, are expected from the descendants of Empire builders, slave owners and persecutors of heretics, and from men who, in our eyes, just got it all wrong. So, with the age of 85 coming up shortly, I want to make an apology. It appears I must apologise for being male, white, and European."

In 1985 he told the Guardian newspaper that he hoped by the end of his life to have put everything in order -- "a kind of little bow, tied on life. And I can see myself drifting off into eternity, or nothing, or whatever it may be, with all sorts of bits of loose string hanging out of my pocket. Why didn't I say this or do that, or why didn't I reconcile myself with someone? Or make sure that someone whom I like was all right in every way, either financially or, I don't know..."

Alec Guinness once sent a script back with a polite rejection. The writer came back with a "we tailored it just for you." He simply replied: "But no one came to take measurements."

"I gave my best performances during the war - trying to be an officer and a gentleman."

"Getting to the theatre on the early side, usually about seven o'clock, changing into a dressing-gown, applying make-up, having a chat for a few minutes with other actors and then, quite unconsciously, beginning to assume another personality which would stay with me (but mostly tucked inside) until curtain down, was all I required of life. I thought it bliss."

"An actor is an interpreter of other men's words, often a soul which wishes to reveal itself to the world but dare not, a craftsman, a bag of tricks, a vanity bag, a cool observer of mankind, a child, and at his best a kind of unfrocked priest who, for an hour or two, can call on heaven and hell to mesmerise a group of innocents."

"Personally, I have only one great regret - that I never *dared* enough. If at all."

Source: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000027/bio

The Story of Our Lives

फिर कुछ इस दिल को बेकरारी है
सीना ज़ोया-ए-ज़ख्म-ए-कारी है
[ज़ोया-ए-ज़ख्म-ए-कारी = searching for a deep wound]

फिर जिगर खोदने लगा है नाखून
आम्दे-ए-फस्ले-ए-लालाकारी है
[आम्दे-ए-फस्ले-ए-लालाकारी = arrival of the harvest of flowers]

फिर उसी बेवफा पे मरते हैं
फिर वही ज़िन्दगी हमारी है

बेखुदी बेसब्ब नहीं ‘ग़ालिब’
कुछ तो है जिसकी पर्दादारी है
[बेसब्ब = without reason, पर्दादारी = hiding something, especially a fault]

AIM is a Liar!

No, this post isn't directed to the AIMCATs conducted by T.I.M.E.

This post is also not directed to Asian Institute of Management, Manila.

Though, this post is directed to AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) interface. See the adjacent screenshot. The person's online time is 3 hours 22 minutes, while he has been idle for 6 hours, 44 minutes! Guess, he was born idle! I guess he was! :)

By the way, I wouldn't mind if the title of this post is used for directing a flame to either of AIMCATs, or AIM-Manila
;-)

[Humorous] Interpretations of [God]

Disclaimer: I am a believer in God. My faith in Allah is equally devout as in Bhagwan or Rabb. The following is only an attempt at wit and is not at all intended to mean malice to any religion. If anyone objects to this post, I will apologize and remove it.

I am very interested in Ghazals. Now, the poetry (that is consumable by mortals like me) being based mostly in Urdu does tend to take one into the realm of love. And, in my limited experience, there are occasions where there is an ambiguity between interpreting the love to be directed to the beloved or to God. So anyway, I oft find myself wondering about Islam (renderers especially like Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan sahab have rendered religious compositions and others equally well). I am especially a fan of Shikwa and Jawab-e-Shikwa, and Tum Ik Gorakh Dhandha Ho.

The ghazal in my previous post had an introduction (from the life of Mirza Ghalib), and the introduction mentioned the differences between the Shia and Sunni sects of Islam. I read about the differences in the article, The Origin of Shia/Sunni Split in Islam. The page also mentions several interesting things (heard about them earlier, but never really understood the reason for existence of a conflict despite these).

1. Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Joseph, Job, Moses, Aaron, David, Elisha, John the Baptist, and Jesus are mentioned as prophets of Allah (as mentioned in the Holy Quran)
2. Jesus is also recognized as a law bringing prophet.
3. The gospel revealed to Jesus is counted among the books of Allah.

The same page mentions positive and negative (the language on the page, not mine) attributes of Allah. Since I've heard about similar attributes for Bhagwaan and Rabb, I will treat these attributes as those of God.

So anyway, I mentioned the positive attributes to a friend on a skype chat. See what those got displayed as on the chat.

See the smiley - 8) - against the attribute, "[God] is truthful. His words and promises are true."

Interpretation: Believe it, if you like!



It gets more interesting when we come to the negative attributes and read those in the context of modern day life. The negative attributes (again, the language used on the page, not my words) are (I'm replacing specific mentions to Allah, with [God]):

THE NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES OF [GOD]
1) [God] has no partners.
God is not a team player!

2) [God] is neither made, nor composed, of any material.
God is not patentable subject matter!

3) [God] is not confined to any place and has no body.
God is mobile, so should be you!
(Orange will love this, fear of irking sentiments notwithstanding!)

4) [God] does not incarnate into anything or anybody.
Dikhaawon pe mat jaao, apni akal lagao!

5) [God] is not subject to changes. [God] cannot change.
Dynamism and Evolution are man-made, God doesn't believe in them!

6) [God] is not visible. He has not been seen, is not seen, and will never be seen, because he has no form or body.
And you thought that Rayban Aviator was a good buy!

7) [God] is not dependent. [God] is not deficient, so he does not have any needs.
God pays his own taxes, is not dependent. Please follow suit, pay your taxes!

8) [God] does not have added qualifications. The attributes of [God] are not separate from His being.
And you? Mortal being! You want an MBA? You fool!

My addition, [God] lives in all of us, so our humor is his. [God] bless!

The Brilliance of Ghalib

The following is just one of the several (hundred?) examples, the man wrote for one occasion but the poem can be interpreted to be relevant in contemporary contexts.
18 सितंबर को देहली और क़िले पर अंग्रेज़ों का क़ब्ज़ा हो गया। गोरों ने शहर में दाखील होते ही बेगुनाहों और बेनवांओं को क़त्ळ करना शुरु कीया। हाय इतने यार मरे के अब जो मैं मरूंगा तो मेरा कोई रोने वाला भी ना होगा। बिछड़े हुए क़्यामत को ही जमां हों तो हों, सो वाहां क्या ख़ाक जमां होंगे, सुन्नी अलग, शीया अलग, नेक जुदा, बद जुदा।

बस के दुशवार है हर काम का आसान होना
आदमी को भी मयसर नहीं इंसान होना
[दुशवार = difficult, मयसर = possible]

गीरीया चाहे है ख्रराबी मेरे काशाने की
दरो दीवार से टपके है बयाबां होना
[गीरीया = wretched, काशाने = of the house, बयाबां = deserted]

इश्रते क़त्ल गहे अहेले तमन्ना मत पूछ
इद-ए-नज़ारा है शम्शीर का उरीयां होना
[इश्रते क़त्ल गहे अहेले तमन्ना = desires of people in seeking joy by murder of others, शम्शीर = (my guess) some character in the religious text, the word itself means sword (symbol of strength/pride?), उरीयां = naked]

की मेरे क़्तल के बाद उसने जफा से तौबा
हाय उस ज़ूद पशेमां का पशेमां होना
[जफा = oppression, तौबा = Repentance, ज़ूद पशेमां = quickly embarrassed, पशेमां होना = be embarrassed]

Ghalib: And the band plays on...

ना था कुछ तो खुदा था, कुछ ना होता तो खुदा होता
डुबोया मुझको होने ने, ना होता मैं तो क्या होता

हुआ जब ग़म से युं बेहिस, तो ग़म क्या सर के कटने का
ना होता ग़र जुदा तन से तो ज़ानो पर धरा होता

हुई मुदद्त के ग़ालिब मर गया पर याद आता है
वो हर एक बात पर केहना के युन होता तो क्या होता

फासले ऐसे भी होंगे ये कभी सोचा ना था

ना उड़ा यूं ठोकरो से मेरी खाकेकब्र ज़ालिम, यही एक रेह गयी है मेरे प्यार की निशानी

फासले ऐसे भी होंगे ये कभी सोचा ना था
सामने बैठा था मेरे और वो मेरा ना था

वो के खुशबू की तरह फैला था मेरे चारसू
मैं उसे मेहसूस कर सकता था छू सकता ना था

रात भर पिछली ही आहट कानों में आती रही
झांक कर देखा गली में कोइ भी आया ना था

याद करके और भी तकलीफ होती थी ‘अदीम’
भूल जाने के सिवा अब कोई चारा ना था

Handwriting Does Tell You a Lot!

An analysis of my handwriting was triggered by my ex-teacher's, whom I met after 9 years, second most prominent recollection of me, I had a BAD handwriting. Driven by co-incidences as my life is, today morning I found a link for Handwriting Analysis on Sanjukta's blog. The results of the analysis are as follows:

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Rahul has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Rahul fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Rahul has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Rahul is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Rahul would like to leave the past behind and move on.

So far so good!

Something is incomplete in Rahul's life. He feels frustration relating to his physical needs and desires. Somewhere in his life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Rahul's sexual needs.

Now now, this embarassing stuff. Damn you, analyzer!

Rahul is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Hmm...

Rahul's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Rahul that he wasn't a great and beautiful person, and he believed them. Rahul also has a fear that he might fail if he takes large risks. Therefore he resists setting his goals too high, risking failure. He doesn't have the internal confidence that frees him to take risks and chance failure. Rahul is capable of accomplishing much more than he is presently achieving. (Boss, are you reading this?) All this relates to his self-esteem. Rahul's self-concept is artificially low. Rahul will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because he is afraid that if he makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Rahul to plan too far into the future. He kind of takes things on a day to day basis. He may tell you his dreams but he is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud he speaks, look at his actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Rahul is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

Man! I am amazed at the degree of accuracy of this analysis! Most of the above is true. But can't recollect who 'someone' was, if there was one. Your days are numbered, buddy!

In reference to Rahul's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Rahul slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project. He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Rahul can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Someone pinch me! Am I being watched? Is this a remake of The Truman Show? I think all of the above paragraph is accurate.

Rahul will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

Boss, now you know why I talk the way I do!

Rahul is moderately outgoing. His emotions are stirred by sympathy and heart rendering stories. In fact, he can be kind, friendly, affectionate and considerate of others. He has the ability to put himself into the other person's shoes. Rahul will be somewhat moody, with highs and lows. Sometimes he will be happy, the next day he might be sad. He has the unique ability to get along equally well with what psychology calls introverts and extroverts. This is because he is in between. Psychology calls Rahul an ambivert. He understands the needs of both types. Although they get along, he will not tolerate anyone that is too "far out." He doesn't sway too far one way or the other. When convincing him to buy a product or an idea, a heart rendering story could mean a great deal to him. He puts himself in the same situation as the person in the story, yet he will not buy anything that seems overly impractical or illogical. Rahul is an expressive person. He outwardly shows his emotions. He may even show traces of tears when hearing a sad story. Rahul is a "middle-of-the-roader," politically as well as logically. He weighs both sides of an issue, sits on the fence, and then will decide when he finally has to. He basically doesn't relate to any far out ideas and usually won't go to the extreme on any issue.

Correct again! Mostly! I mean I do have the tendency to contemplate going to the extreme.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Rahul doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Correct.

I am impressed! Sorry, I am Rahul.
(One thing the analysis missed is that Rahul has a natural gift for cooking horrible jokes. Of course, the 'joke' part is understood and acknowledged only by him! For instance, if a poor joke is represented as PJ = P + iJ, where i is iota, we can see that the Joke part (J) is imaginary. *Shameless smile*)

Sunday was a Bright Day, Yesterday

What a day it was, Sunday.

I begin the day with my sister waking me up, for there was someone on the phone for me. On asking who was it, she shouted "Some Major [aa... sound]", I thought she meant Major uncle, so I shouted back at her to redirect to phone to Dad, sure it would be for him, right? But she insisted 'twas for me. So anyway I meekly murmur a hullo into the phone, "Hi Rahul, This is Major Ankur Shrivastav, Remember me?" Wow! The last I met this guy was in 2002 when I was in Pune, and he was heading to [somewhere near] Srinagar, the normal approximate location as these Army guys tell ya. And then he was a fresh officer, a Lieutinent, posted in a sensitive area after education and Training at Rashtriya Indian Military College (RIMC), National Defence Academy (NDA), Indian Military Academy (IMA), and Young Officer's (YO) course at Nashik. Well, as it may be evident, I am very proud of and in awe of this guy. He is a perfect embodiment of the military way of life strengthening you to take on anything. Anything.

"You're alive!" exclaimed I, he had told me that in Srinagar (and may be all sensitive areas) the militants and the army across the border "will know about Lieutinent Srivastav reaching there, days before he arrives"! "Alive and Kicking!", said he. "Kicking some Pakistani Butt!" was my insensitive joke. I am ashamed at this wrong usage of language, I actually meant "Pakistani Butts"! No offence to people like us on the other side of the border, I hate the self styled jehadis, and I agree with Rashmi's post. "Very glad to connect and will be in touch now, you take care", my closing sentence.

Then, I went to meet my senior from college and Infosys, Vipula Mehta who married another senior from college and a fellow geek from Cel-Pec, Nikhil Goel. The couple is now based out of Singapore, and it was glad to hear about the Singaporean way of life. More so, since I've been contemplating an MBA from NUS for sometime now (Budget budget ki baat hai!).

Then, out of nowhere I was strong on meeting my Math teacher from School, Jaswant Singh, the typical embodiment of a hard task master. I met him after 9 years! I took A Beautiful Mind: The Life of Mathematical Genius and Nobel Laureate John Nash, and To Sir, with Love for him. Hope he likes them!

Talking to Sir about people from our class of 1996 was fun. I hunted down and contacted Shantanu Jindal, Gaurav Suri, and Shivani Passi, all classmates from school. Awesome!

And if this wasn't enough of a good sunday, I ended the day with "a heavy icing"! Talked to Anantesh Verma, buddy from Infosys, Pune and Mohali. I told him how I spent my Sunday, so he was the one who volunteerly offered his [humble] self, "so I'm the icing on the cake, a heavy one!". :)

All in all, a great Sunday, for old time sakes!

Sunday was a bright day yesterday... (borrowing the first and the only relevant line from Moby's beautifully rendered, "The Day Before My Birthday". Btw, its my sister's birthday today. Silly funny co-incidences!)

Getting Old

My time has come. It was inevitable. Blame it on brilliance. And some on elegance too. Okay, before you think I've totally lost it, I meant that I'm (for the nth time) revelling in the beauty of old hindi songs, a la Mohd. Rafi. It is interesting that about 10 years ago I would get irritated by these things, and here I am, a total chameleon, appreciating every bit of those. Take this one for example:

Chuu lene do naazuk honthon ko
Kuch aur nahin hai jaam hai yeh

Kudrat ne jo humko baksha hai
Woh sabse haseen inaam hai yeh

Sharmaakar na yuhin kho dena rangeen jawaani ki ghadiyan
Betaab dharakte seeno ka armaan bharaa paigaam hai yeh

Acho ko bura saabit karna duniya ki puraani aadat hai
Is mai ko mubaarak cheez samajh, maana ke bahut badnaam hai yeh

Andaaz-e-guftgoo par gaur farmaaiye janaab!

Guess, growing old is accepting the past to be golden. Is it a compromise or lack of a contemporary identity? Whatever, revel in it as long as you can, who knows when you get old :)

Punchline

I guess it's a world of punchlines. Having a punchline is as important for a meaningful existence as having an NRI dad, with earning in dollars and spending in rupees. Critically examining the following punchlines, I have decided to have one of my own.

SingingFish - It's a strange world. Fish it.
Pangea3 - The world is yours. Profit from it.
CNBC-TV18 - Profit from it.

So, here goes mine:

I am dumb. Profit from it.

I guess one way of cooking punchlines is to see what's happening with the entity, in this case - me, put it to words (5-10) and call it your punchline. So you know what's been happening to me!

Of course, the other way is to just copy it and randomly junxtaposition arbitrary words to the right and left. Of course, lots of brains go into deciding where to put the punctuation.

Talking of punchlines, Microsoft used to have Where do you want to go today? till some time ago. I wonder if discovery of Linux got them to coin this one! Legend has it that when software started coming out with the requisite "Requires Windows 98 or better", did people start using Linux. Better, ain't it? What do I know? Being naive comes naturally to me. I am dumb. Profit from it!

Wassup?

As with all other people with an IQ of 150 or less, I am often expected to answer the very tough questions, "Wassup?", "Kya chal raha hai?", "How's the job coming along?" and so on.

Well, previous attempts at answering with a:

• Bas, normal types
• Standard scene
• Nothing ya
• Kuch nahin yaar
• Nothing exciting
• Nothing to die for, Nothing to kill for

and so on not having rendered themselves as a satisfying reply, I have decided to use the following for sometime now:

I begin each day by asking myself: Abort, Retry, Ignore?

So, now you know about me. Wassup?

Late Night Ramblings about Seeking Him

Barson mein tere naam pe khaata raha fareb
Mere Khuda kahan hai tu, apna pata to de

It seems to me that there is a very fine difference (of which I'm not fully aware) between being agnostic and being a modern day Punjabi Hindu, like me. I mean if I am to ask myself, or my parents for that matter, about The One (no, we're not talking about Neo here), not sure if we can be talking for more than a few minutes. I think I/they know more about and are more inclined to Sikhism than Hinduism. Another complaint of mine is that Hinduism is way too complex to be born in 1981 and find an easily "assimilatable" version of it. Someone help me.

Manzil na de charag na de, haunsla to de
Tinke ka hi sahi tu magar aasara to de

But at the end of the (tough) day I still seek Him. How real am I being? How real is He? Is this Identity Crisis?

Beshak mere naseeb pe rakh apna ikhtiyaar
Lekin mere naseeb kya hai bataa to de?

Who am I kidding? May be "destiny" was just misheard, the Creater actually meant "destination", such that only at the end of the journey, called Life, would one know what destiny was.

Maine yeh kab kaha ke mere haq mein ho jawab
Lekin khaamosh kyon hai tu, koi faisla to de

Will I turn rightfully religious or atheist? Will the heavens answer? Will I spend more time just as ill-informed, un-enlightened as this day? I don't know.

Screw it, its time to sleep! If I wake up, there is God. (Easy, isn't it?)

Its a Small World!

Cliched!

No doubt, it is cliched. That said, all of us go through our share of "Oh!"s when revelation tickles the spaghetti in the brain. A very flimsy example is the circulation of the same forwards every time a new generation of (engineering) college graduates enters the naukri sponsored cyberspace (as in office wala free Internet).

So anyway, my (re)discovery of the world being a small place seems to happen everyday and often in an entirely new way. For starters, I work for a company called Pangea3, the very name leading us to believe that things are very well connected across the oceans and its a small world, as in American attorney's may get their work done from the person across the wires. The wires being undersea cables leading from NY to Mumbai!

Then on-and-off I login to orkut on days when the 'Does anyone even care whether I exist?' question chooses to bother me (of all the rest damned ever bulging population, including the sucker Arindham Chaudhari!). Anyway, relevance-to-context is that orkut lets you click on a random chick's photograph and then see how are you linked to her! It is really awesome, a great way to find out about lost friends, and be amused at finding how friends of friends or friends are your friends too. Try it! Pardon my language, I just saw on TV, the cool (khool?) people call pretty (to very pretty) girls, having rotund (to very rotund), big (to very big) portions of body as chicks, though I have never understood why. I want to be khool too!

Finally, the webapp that made me write this post. The "Oracle" developed by some khool guys at the Department of Computer Science, University of Virginia. The link is http://www.cs.virginia.edu/cgi-bin/oracle/movielinks. The webapp is no rocket science in itself, but yes, as with a zillion other webapps, it leads to some VERY interesting findings. The webapp links movie actors (btw, I've noticed that this term - actors - is used unisexually, and I approve such usage) names at imdb. So after wasting close to a couple of hours, I thought it was worth a post, this one. See how Juhi Babbar, the pretty (and rotund at right places) daughter of Raj Babbar is linked to the babaji, Al Pacino.

Juhi Babbar was in Kash... Aap Hamare Hote (2003) with Om Puri
Om Puri was in Wolf (1994) with Peter Gerety
Peter Gerety was in People I Know (2002) with Al Pacino

Interesting? Go waste a few hours. Its fun! After all, not being khool and having to spend an average of 65 years on this earth can be very boring. Thank God for the webapps!

Being 'Touchy and Feely'

Another email!

---------- Forwarded message ----------

Subject: FW: "Can engineers be 'Touchy feely'?" (femina article on engineers by ChetanBhagat)

Can engineers be 'Touchy feely'?

Can engineers be 'Touchy feely'? Apparently they can... says author Chetan Bhagat
I remember the incident - I was in a restaurant, and one girl in our group was especially charming. So I, like any other male, tried to put on a wooing act. You know the routine, a nanosecond extra eye contact, a few more nods to whatever she says, and attempts to throw in those one-liners which you know you wouldn't if she weren't there. And it seemed to be working. She leaned forward when she spoke to me, and every now and again, we'd have a small conversation of our own, separate from our group. She laughed at my approach with the fork and knife, and I teased her about her hair band, which had little teddy bears. Yes, we were flirting. A while later, she asked me the question - what did I study? I said engineering, without any particular meaning attached to it.

And then like a cold metal rail, she went stiff. My jokes weren't funny any more. Her eyes wandered to everyone else. What was it? Why? Why? Why? Two days later, I still couldn't get over my great start that had dissipated listlessly upon mentioning my education. Engineer? What was wrong with that? My mom had wanted me to become one since I was five! I had to call her. 'So what happened to you that day, hot and cold, missie?' And then she said, trying to be nice, 'Well, it's just that I am skeptical about engineers as friends. I don't know, they can be, you know, very logical and everything... not very touchy feely'.

Not touchy-feely. Now what the heck did that mean? Well, she obviously did not mean it literally, since girls don't really suggest that sort of stuff, certainly not in the first meeting across the table. I guessed it was something to do with feelings, sort of having an emotional side. The stereotype being, the nerdy guy who sees relationships like laws of physics, to whom love is just a bunch of chemicals going crazy in your brain, and getting to know a person means obtaining their bio-data. It's time to set the record straight. It's true that a lot of what engineers study (and they end up studying quite a lot), has to do with formulaes, laws and numbers. No matter how hard we try, some of the vocabulary we read all day gets into our language. So when my mother said, 'Are you getting married next year or not?' I was liable to say, 'Well, at this moment in time, the probability is relatively low,' and felt it was completely normal to say it. And when my sister went sari shopping and couldn't explain the shade she wanted, I told the shopkeeper the percentages of pink, orange and red in the sari. Yet, ladies, I don't think we're bad at relationships, love and getting to know people. We too, can be touchy-feely, as that is part of our education as well. The reason for this is that most engineering students live in the ultimate educator - boy's hostels. Now, let me explain how this plays into this 'touchy-feely' thing. Relationships. Imagine eating, sleeping, brushing your teeth, bathing (ok rarely this one) and partying with the same people all the time. So, when you are kicking that bathroom door down for the tenth time, or when you stand in line for 'gulab-jamuns' in the mess, and when you are done with the vodka bottle and sharing all your secrets, you know it is good practice. Yes, hostels maketh the man. So, next time you are in a flirtatious situation with the techno types, go on, flirt a bit more. Of course, I am biased towards my kind, but if you find the conversation turning too geeky, just ask them, 'So, what were your hostel days like?' and chances are, you'll see a heart behind the calculator. Coming back to my missie, I thought of what would make me win her over. Flowers... too cheesy. Music... don't know her taste (nor trust mine). Teddy bears... don't even go there. Desperate for some good lines, I just turned it right back at her. 'Yes, I know what you are saying about engineers. The thing is, unless people with depth like you start hanging out with us, we won't get any better. Can you meet me some time for some touchy/feely... oops, I mean coffee/tea?' She giggled. When they giggle, you have won. Hence proved.

----ends----

Interesting! My reply to the person who sent me this mail (a girl) was this:

So what do you think about the engineers now?

Did the illustrative proof below lead to an influence in the probability of a change in the way you look at the engineers, and do you think the description below is a necessary and/or sufficient matter to swing your tendencies of treating engineers as equal beings? ;-)

Gosh! Being nerdy comes naturally to me! But swear to God, the one that I love, I love that one more than I possibly can. Heck, now that's a very "un-engineer" statement. How can you exceed 100%? The answer my friend, is being 'touchy feely'!

Proud to be Indian, relax oye!

The following email came screaming for a reply. What could I do!

-----Original Message-----

AN Indian discovered that nobody can create a folder
anywhere named as "con" in any drive

This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable... At Microsoft the
whole
Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!

Try it out yourself..

--------- Reply---------
"Hmm Please record my name also, as I claim that you can't make a folder with the name "PRN"!

Alright, now coming to the logic behind this (I am surprised who asked Bill Gates and the whole MS team!): There were certain "reserved names" in the underlying OS, that time called DOS - Disk Operating System.

CON was the reserved name for CONsole (i.e. a display system) PRN was the reserved name for PRiNter (i.e. a printer).

These reserved names were used to output to display system, such as a monitor, and a printer respectively.

So to be "backward compatible" such names are disallowed even today. There are more such names.

My sympathy for Bill Gates."

Are we, Indians, really suffering from such an identity crisis? Bah!

And that also brings me to my theory that with each new "batch" of people inducted into the cyberworld, there is an increase in the per capita spam/forwards. More on this later.

By the way who was that Indian? :)

Yeh Mujhe Kya Ho Gaya

Its not that some love has hit me. Its not that memories of some old crush are tickling me again. Its not that I met/saw someone pleasant, hell, I haven't been out of my room for days now. Its just that I thought about this song. Its just that I thought of posting on this blog.

Baadalon Se Kaat Kaatke,
Kaagazon Pe Naam Jodna
Yeh Mujhe Kya Ho Gaya?

Doriyon Se Baandh Baandh Ke
Raat Bhar Chand Todna
Yeh Mujhe Kya Ho Gaya?

Ek Baar Tumko Jab Baraste Paaniyon Ke Paar Dekha Thha
Yoon Laga Thha Jaise
Gungunaata Ek Abshaar Dekha Thha
Tabse Meri Neend Mein Barasti Rehti Hai
Bolti Bahut Ho Aur Hasti Rehti Ho
Jo Tujhe Jaanta Na Ho Us-Se Tera Naam Poochna
Yeh Mujhe Kya Ho Gaya?

Dekho Yoon Khule Badan
Gulabi Sahilon Pe Aaya Na Karo
Tum Namak Bhare Samundaron Mein Yoon
Is Tarah Nahaya Na Karo
Sara Din Chandni Si Chhaayi Rehti Hai
Aur Gulabi Dhoop Baukhlai Rehti Hai
Jaamno Ki Naram Daal Pe Naakhoon Se Naam Khodna
Yeh Mujhe Kya Ho Gaya?

This song is from the movie Satya, can listen to it here at Raaga.com. This isn't the best love/longing song ever. On the contrary, its a fairly "lower middle class" composition, but I love it. Of course, its fairly "lower middle class" to write X loves Y, with an unevenly drawn heart shape, having an arrow piercing across it, on the bark of a jamun tree!

But inspite of it all, this song makes me feel happy. So does looking at Parizad Kolah!

Yeh mujhe kya ho gaya!

Wow, Infy!

I normally refrain from using the phrases akin to "Hats Off!" looking at the deeds of men, women and organizations they run. But this one deserves something to that tune. Indian Express reports the following with the headline, "Infosys airlifts its employees out of Houston jam":

With Hurricane Rita hurtling towards the Texas coast, Indian IT major Infosys has evacuated over 86 people including employees and their families from Houston on a chartered flight.

The evacuation on Thursday night (IST) was ordered after a specially set up Infosys Rita watch panel, Task Force Rita, indicated danger for employees in Houston, Texas.

There are nearly 100 Infosys employees working in the region. Infosys officials at the company’s headquarters in Bangalore said that the decision to charter a plane for the evacuation of employees and their families was made after reports that roads from Houston were blocked as scores of people attempted to flee.

This is really worth a praise, probably more than just a praise. I have worked for Infosys; these guys are masters at hospitality. I mean they really know how to take care of their employees, clients, and shareholders. May be that is why they are a loved company. Even though the nature of work they do, as I've blurted at other occasions, is not the best one could do after engineering, but that is more of an industry characteristic than Infy's.

I was in the first trainee batch which was supposed to undergo a fast track training (Mysore, August 2002), and rather than expect us to find a place to live in the town, Infosys opened the executive resorts for us (which were normally reserved for the C-level execs coming to train at the Infosys Leadership Institute within the Mysore Campus). I'm not sure how many companies would exhibit this level of "Corporate Care". And, yes, we're talking about the company behind Infosys Foundation, which is doing many-a-noble things all the time.

So, here's to Infy's commitment to employee care , "Hats Off!".

PS: Cynical as this may sound, this move of Infy may have a secondary motive of garnering good press, but then, that's just fine, as long as stranded employees were helped.

Katrina, Rita and Parizad

Well, if you too have been wondering where these creative names for these cyclones, that have been hitting the hit-by-outsourcing land, came from, here's the link.

For one, it does add some fun in the lives of people. In my case, I'm just waiting for some colleague in Mumbai to ask me, "Where's Rita?" to which I can reply with a smartass "Duh!" (Rita is our colleague in the US.)

Or may be like Shekhar Suman used on The Great Indian Laughter Champions, "Suna hai Katrina ne Bharat ke ilawava USA mein bhi tabahi macha rakhi hai!".

Ah, the show! Good laughter, great marketing, AWESOME host! I mean I just love Parizad! And to my utter frustration, there just aren't enough photos of hers on the web, though she is such a wallpaper material. Anyway, about the show, I like the idea about retaining people ("champions") whose humor for one has a (flimsy at times) national appeal, while having a strong regional appeal.

Btw, here's my current wallpaper














Paichan Kaun? Duh!

New Blog

I've started a new blog, Legally Yours, about Legal Process Outsourcing.

Hope to keep it updated regularly. Watch that space!

The Blind Men and the Elephant

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! But the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk
Cried, "Ho! What have we here,
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up he spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee:
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said:"E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope.
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

John Godfrey Saxe (1816 - 1887)

Buddhist version
Islamic version

Legal Process Outsourcing

A great post on the area I work in - Legal Process Outsourcing - at http://shyster.blogspot.com/2005/09/busting-legal-monopoly-outsourcing.html

The post liberally mentions the company I work for.

Wonder if LPO will be as much of a mover and shaker as IT was.

Finally, LPO is not mere BPO. Those who think it is, die!

Sick of Life

Paralyzed.
Nothing's getting through to me.
Hypnotized from all my surroundings.
I wanna be something
I could never be.
I wanna say things that I could never say.

Yeah, I'm gonna do it again!
Sick of my life.
I'm tired of everything in my life.

Dragged down.
Rubbing my face in the ground.
No time for the undecided.
I wanna know why I've always felt alone,
And I wanna love.
Why am I untouchable?

Yeah, I'm gonna do it again!
Sick of my life.
I'm tired of everything in my life.

I never wanted to be sick of my life.
I'm tired of everything in my life.
--Godsmack

Being Spiritual

I met one of my uncles yesterday after like 3 years. I've been close to him for the past 21 years, earliest memories include going to the Golden Temple during peak of militancy with him (with an onion on my head for tying a patka, that was like mandatory during that troubled time), aunty taught me to tie shoe laces (alright, I haven't been a good student when it comes to shoe laces!), and so on. Among other things, he wanted me to learn to be spiritual "from early on in life" (as if 24 is like early!). Anyway, so he told me about the "mool mantra", from the Guru Granth Sahib (the 11th Guru of the Sikhs, the Holy text).

Ek Omkar Satnaam Kartapurakh Nirbhav Nirvair Akalmurat Ajuni Saybhung

The above, he told me, is like the definition of God.

[Ek = one
Om = one that is unique
Kar = continous, immutable
Sat = undestroyable
Kartapurakh = The creator is within the creation
Nirbhav = fearless
Nirvair = enemyless
Akalmurat = eternel being
Ajuni = unclassified species, there's no other. The species are classified as being out of eggs (andaj), born out of a womb (jeraj), born out of sweat/moisture (setaj), born out of earth (utphuj). There was also a mention of existence of 84,000,000 species, half of them being underwater.
Saybhung = born out of itself]

To be in the sight of the above-defined God, one has to remember him, starting with at certain times - like morning and evening, and moving on to a state where in a continuous alaap of the God's name comes from within.

Gurprasar, Jap Aadsach Juugaadsach Haipisach, Nanak, Hosipisach

[Gurprasar = By the blessings of the Guru
Jap = Always remember
Aadsach = The first truth
Juugaadsach = The truth that spanned all the juugs, Satyug, Treta, Dwapar, and Kalyug
Haipisach = The current truth
Hosipisach = The truth forever]

After telling me about the mool mantra, he went on to describe a snippet, from the holy text, that advocates doing good Karma and remembering God, because that is what matters in the end (yes, some may yawn now!). Quoting him:

Je Juug Chaare Aarja, Hor Dasooni Hoye
[Even if you live ten times the span of the four juugs]

Nauwan Khandaan Wich jaaniye, Naal Chaalai Sab Koye
[You're known all over the nine khands, and all are with you]

Changa Naun Rakhaayekey, Jas Kirat Jug Le
[Attain fame/respect/wealth the world over]

Je Tis Nadar Na Aavaye, Taan Vaat Na Pooche Koye
[But if you're not able to see the God, then you have nowhere to go, none to turn to upon death]

Keetan Andar Keet Kar, Doshi Dosh Tarey
[Even the lowly insects - metaphorical for the miniscule - point fingers on you]

Nanak, Nirgun Gun Kare, Gunvateyan Gun Daye
[But Nanak says, by remembering Him (God), even the talentless (metaphorically) can attain the skill similar to those who are talented]

My uncle also advocated meditating (He says it leads to the tenth opening - somewhere within the forehead, the place where God appears, when you meditate - the other nine being: 2 earholes, 2 eye sockets, 2 nostrils, mouth, anus, rectum).

Well, I've always believed in a superior spiritual power, but may be a part of growing up, is to know more about Him, and know about more things that make sense. I am still to see myself immersed into meditation, but hopefully that should be a real task for me someday. Till then as Naaz Khialvi put it:

Ho Bhi Nahin Aur Harjaa ho,
Tum Ik Gorakh Dhandha Ho

Har Zarre Mein Kis Shaan Se Tu Jalwanuma Hai
Hairaan Magar Akl Ke Kaisa Hai Tu Kya Hai

Tujhe Dair-o-Haram Mein Maine Dhoondha Tu Nahin Milta
Magar Tashreef Farma Tujhko Apne Dil Mein Dekha Hai

Dhoondhe Nahin Mile Ho Na Dhoondhe Se Kahin Tum
Aur Phir Yeh Tamasha Hai Jahan Hum Hain Wohi Tum

(Beautifully rendered by NFAK sahib)

Funny as it sounds, everyone seeks to find The Omnipresent, duh!

About a Girl

I need an easy friend
(I do) With an ear to lend
(I do) Think you fit this shoe
(I do) But you have a clue

I'll take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can't see you every night (for) free
I do

I'm standing in your line
(I do) Hope you have the time
(I do) Pick a number to
(I do) Keep a date with you

I'll take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can't see you every night (for) free
I do

I need an easy friend
(I do) With an ear to lend
(I do) Think you fit this shoe
(I do) But you have a clue

I'll take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can't see you every night, no I can't see you every night...
For free

--About a Girl, Nirvana

Why was the man expected to be a saint?

Recently, this picture of J L Nehru has been circulating...

The title of the mail is "Pyaare Chacha Nehru". I see sarci.

Earlier I've seen pictures of the man having a laugh with Lord Mountbatten's wifey. I saw sarci there too.

Never understood why do we expect our leaders to be saintly? I mean they're men and women after all, right?

Why would I like some Chacha any less if he smoked. Don't see sarci.

Venkatesa Suprabhatam

I've often thought of turning more religious than I presently am (which is traces of religion in my life), I've often believed in and advocated the power of Hindu chants. Recently had a chance to listen to Suprabhatam. The "lyrics" and their English interpretation are available here. More information is available at http://www.suprabhatam.org

I have another more "consumable" version, called Suprabhatam-Remix (mail me at rahul.jindal@pangea3.com if you'd like to get that). I know "remix" turns sensual images. But this is religion, not sensual, in most instances. In some instances, it is.

After the war

Nach Nach Laashaan Utte Kalla, Man Hi Man Itranda Hai
Khabar Nahin Key Unhon Behka, Shaitan Khada Muskanda Hai
--After the War, Indian Ocean - Jhini, 2003

(He's gleeful as he dances alone over the corpses,
Little does he know that the Devil is happy influencing him so)

War and malice are no good.

Peace.

What makes Instant Messaging so popular among teens?

A very interesting study is at http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~kraut/RKraut.site.files/articles/Boneva04-TeenCommunicationInIMEra.pdf

One thing that I love about my job is the scope to author such studies, even though this one wasn't authored by us :)

Amir 'Mangal Pandey' Khan

... is in the blogosphere too! Check this out.

This and That

An excellent photo-series on Sufism
Inadvertently, I had refered Sufism to be kind of an addiction in a discussion at office. People called smoking an addiction and said (yawn) that it leads to deterioration of health. It causes trouble, not only for the smoker but his family. So its a social phenomenon. I couldn't agree more with them, but my point was that the social phenomenon thing is true for any other addiction. Take Sufism for example. People get so much into it that they leave home. They become disconnected, I did. Try listening to Man Atkeia Beparwa De Naal by NFAK. That is a social phenomenon like no other. Religion is. Who has quit religion? But, yes smoking is worse. Quit now!
As with most other times, my inadvertent remark made me probe, so I came across the photo-series and I am glad.

Here is a great link from The Hindu about the American way, a do's and don'ts checklist for Indians :). Quoting:
Americans are fussy about personal cleanliness. Body odour makes them shudder in disgust. Personal care products such as shampoos, deodorants, dental floss and mouthwash are multi billion dollar industries. Put these down on your shopping list and use them liberally and frequently.

Finally, Sunil's excellent posts on AID-India are here, here and here. I had joined the AID-Delhi mailing list while I was in Gurgaon, but didn't do much apart from lurking on the list, but I do appreciate their spirit. For the more filmy inclined, Ashutosh Gawariker movie Swades was inspired by a group of AID-India members who worked at making a village self-sufficient when it comes to electricity.

Remembering KC

The safe landing of space shuttle Discovery brings back the memory of a landing that wasn't safe. In fact, it wasn't a landing at all.

The Jan 13, 2003 special issue of India Today had a picture on its covers with the words ‘American Astronaut Kalpana Chawla’ written on the lower-left, the theme of the issue, ‘The Global Indians, doing us proud’.

Almost around six-and-a-half-years ago, we (at Punjab Engineering College, Chandigarh) were introduced to Kalpana ‘Global Indian’ Chawla by Prof. Gurdial Singh saying, “These are the very benches where she sat and attended lectures, lets see how far can you go.’ “How far can one go than the space itself?” was, may be, the passing thought.

That was a year after she became the first Indian women to ‘rocket into space on a NASA fact finding mission on microgravity’. Quoting from India today, “In the 16 day trip during which disconnected bubbles of water were caught for taking a cosmic shower, Chawla traveled 6.5 million miles, made 252 orbits of the earth and logged close to 400 hours in space”.

Soon after she came back from her first trip to the stars, she sent back to her alma mater a photograph of the entire crew personally signed by each crew member. This photograph even today is on the walls in the admin block at PEC. Everyone waiting to see the principal looks at the photograph outside his office. “To the teachers, students and staff of Punjab Engineering College”, says the caption she wrote.

When her second flight was announced some time early this year, the students of Aeronautical Engineering Department sent her a letter with letters from Governor of Punjab and others. “You do us proud”, was the headline of the article describing the letter the next day in a local newspaper in Chandigarh.

Cut to a few years later...

Saturday, 1st Feb, 2003, about 7:00 a.m. IST: Seeing her photograph on the top of Times of India, I told my friend, “I heard she’d be visiting our college sometime this year, may be during the convocation”. She was scheduled to land that day after a 16 day long trip in the NASA space shuttle Columbia that took off on the 16th Jan.

Saturday, 1st Feb, 2003 about 8:00 p.m. IST: We watched with gross shock and disbelief a bright streak of light on the Texan sky, something the newsflash called the “Crashing Space Shuttle Columbia”. “First time in the history of NASA has a space shuttle crashed while landing” said the voice behind the screen.

But with that first time, we also lost the First Indian woman in space, but with that first time, we also lost the first Indian to go to space twice, but with that first time we also lost the ‘First among the stars’ as India Today called her.

“All Indians must be immensely proud of her”, said a voice on CNN. Seeing the TV channels this seemed true.

I remember KC, American Astronaut, who attained eternity, literally among the stars, with these words...

“…after partition my family was left without possessions but we learnt you couldn’t lose by working hard.”

We're working hard, KC Ma'am. We won't lose. Discovery did land safely.

Dropping the Albatross

Not so long ago, in a place that demands the most raw of the survival skills, where wild animals, Jaats, prowl free, there existed a firm. Name is not important. Only that it was “The Firm” wannabe. Hah!

The place was infested by khabris, dreary and sly men (and women?), men of no honor, in fact they sold their honor on that hungry night at Convergys. They bought half-a-plate Maggi doing so.

Deleted the rest of the post (about 1-1/4 pages more) to sound politically correct.

I for Inspiration

I inspired a blog and a post!

And God said, "May you live in interesting times!"

Bad Times, Good Spirits

Umr jalwon mein basar ho, yeh zaroori to nahin
Har shab-e-gam ki seher ho, yeh zaroori to nahin

This must have been on the minds of my colleagues from office who stayed at the corporate house for the second consecutive night, been away from their families for 36 hours by then. After all, not on all days can one be with family. And some nights, especially second in a row, with uncertainty looming large, is shab-e-gam after all, and expecting a sunny morning (seher), even literally, would be expecting too much.

The gam ranged from a submerged car to a four-year-old who wanted mamma to come home (in Kandivilli, from Colaba) by "aeroplane", if bus, car, and train are not running. Then there was this lady who was planning for her mother's birthday for days, and all that she could do was to call her up using a cell phone with an ever-wavering signal. So much for planning. Life is a typical project, planning to plant apples, red and delicious, and end up eating mushroom, poisonous at times. Yes, you can always add peas to the mushroom, if you are north-Indian, but c'mon, expecting peas to taste like apples, is weird even by Jaat (Gurgaon Police) standards.

Of course, gam, like mushrooms also comes in several varieties, from missing mom's birthday (Rachita), to trying to breathe under earth after a landslide has hit you (an old woman in Saki Naka), to going hungry for 36 hours straight (Ghushe), to walking through 5 feet water (Neha), to spending two nights in office (Doctor), to still having a wild shrub for hair (me), Fructis notwithstanding.

We decided to have the second evening in the Corporate House livelier than the previous one. Pardon me, we did not decide to, some odd beast, called Torrential Rains, and the instinct of not letting the beast dampen our spirits, forced us to. You can wet a Mumbaikar's body, but you can't dampen his spirit. After all you are no more than some menacing H2O. That doesn't even sound scary. You can strand our lives, but not keep them from playing Dumb Charades. And that is what we did. Everyone seemed to understand...

Neend to dard ke bistar pe bhi aa sakti hai
Unki aagosh mein sar ho yeh zaroori to nahin

After all, when the mother and the four-year-old embrace (aagosh), all will be mended, and mended damn well. Meanwhile, research is on about correct way of embracing such that lack of a Colaba - Kandivilli flight can be properly put to perspective.

While one Dumb after the other took centre stage, prayers must have been on in everyone's minds. No silly, the movie names were not that tough that you need pray to get them right.

Prayers for him/her, prayers for his/hers, prayers for theirs, prayers for ours. Sab ke liye sajde

Shaikh karta to hai masjid mein Khuda ko sajde
Uske sajdon mein asar ho, yeh zaroori to nahin

As fresh rain knocked at the window pane, weariness and helplessness flashed many a face. One of those moments when the question that you've been avoiding for a while now, "Does God exist?" needs a revisit. From the funny, "Is there a complaint redressel register up there?" to the more mundane, "Am I going home tomorrow?", the effectiveness of the prayers was yet to be seen.

Earlier in the day, I had walked down to the Marine Drive near NCPA, to dump some of my weariness. What I saw is probably what is called the Mumbai Spirit. Each face, young or old, braids or bald, pretty or otherwise, grateful-but-not-showing townie or stranded-but-so-what suburban, had a lets-live-it-now, a we'll-meet-tomorrow-when-it-comes, look. In fact, it was so cheering that I too decided to go right till the far end and sit on those crab laden tripod shaped cement rocks. Let's live it now, we'll meet the crabs tomorrow.

On my way back I saw an old man, rich and apparent, white kurta pyjama, folded hands, bare feet as in a temple, looking at the sea, probably calling his God (Saaki). It could very well be a this-year-an-eighty-percent-on-my-stocks-please thing, but praying he was...

Sabki nazaron mein ho Saaki, yeh zaroori hai

... and so were people at the corporate house.

Sabki nazaron mein ho Saaki, yeh zaroori hai magar
Sab pe Saaki ki nazar ho yeh zaroori to nahin

My colleagues did end up going back to their houses this afternoon, almost after 50 hours.

While the industry and the economy mourn a Rs. 1000 crore loss, I'd be glad to know if the old rich man gets his eighty percent.

Sab pe Saaki ki nazar ho yeh zaroori to nahin

Dear Saaki, my expectations are only sixty percent, kindly oblige. I know you're overworked. You've just been to Mumbai, after an unexpected break.

Ah, when the Gods ensured that it won't be a dry day, we could do nothing but follow suit. So wine did keep us Dumbs happy. The toast was: "Bad Times, Good Spirits". Literally.

Maximum City

Its 5:30 a.m. and I just came back after seeing Mumbai. No, I wasn't out partying, wasn't even working late.

I saw Mumbai, a city paralyzed. Jammed roads, Intimidating sea, Halted trains, Dysfunctional phones, Blacked-out suburbs.

Around afternoon, it started getting *quite* dark. But ever since I installed Konfbulator and its nifty little widget for weather, and configured it for Mumbai, looking outside the window has become a passé. The widget punchline itself says, "So that you never have to look outside again".

So, anyway, the widget showed cloudy sky with those gray streaks, so large that they seemed to run across the section on the widget for the current date. I didn't quite bother interpreting what it could mean, a torn city, perhaps. As I said, I didn't bother.

As the day progressed, the commotion (excitement?) in the office increased. Things like, "...you live in Colaba (close to the office, that is), why would you bother...” For me what was strange was to find this particular boat in the sea, that one sees from the window near the elevators on the floor where my office is, missing. I distinctly remember seeing it twice in the day, once about 2 PM and then about 4 PM, during my excursions. But at about 5:30, the boat was no where to be found. Either they took it, or *it* did.

By about 6 it was sort of "... (Houston) we have a situation!” Pizzas were ordered, and I was prepared to welcome guests from the office to the Corporate House, where I stay. If it is to be, it will be, so it was.

I finished my work at about 11. By then the ladies from the office had left for the CH, while we were, seven of us, unfair sex (each unfair than the other), in the office, no where to go, no place to call our own. So went the usual trip, and Ghazals plus Google earth kept us just fine.

Ah, not to forget, the little office-alone adventure that happened in the suite adjacent to ours. Apparently, a man had gotten drunk and somehow got himself locked in the office. So helpless, and stupid, as he was, and selfless, and jobless as people in my office were, a good amount of time went in setting the drunkards (actually there were two, too drunk) free.

How stupid the drunkards were, we'll never know. But we were *quite* jobless, so at 4 we decided to "checkout" (I hate ambiguous words, I do) the sea @ Marine Drive. So intrepid as we were, went down towards NCPA only to make fun of the sissy sea (we had expected more aggression) and the umbrella-holders amongst us. Frankly, I didn't think the sea was sissy, a little more and I wouldn't have been writing this!

As in other mundane and boring stories, hunger set in. Only that it was for food this time. So we went to Churchgate. And boy, it was one of those days when I think not owning a digicam is the second biggest mistake of my life. The first one being turning 24 and comfortably forgetting to plan a life strategy, but then, that’s a different story, perhaps a different blog entry.

Churchgate! That place didn't have church, and not even a gate, but yes it had .... It had people. People. People. Some more, people. And some more. And some more. Sleeping; on the floor, with or without newspaper ("mattress"); on the benches; in the parked trains. Watching; life, universe, and everything. Wondering; when are the trains going to start, if their families are safe and fed, if office tomorrow will understand, how long will they discuss their i-was-at-foobar-when-we-got-stuck stories with friends at work, whose story would become most popular, and if all 24 year olds have a life strategy. Okay, I made the last one up. In fact, I made all of them up.

Then there were the ones who believed more in the power of screaming, than sleeping. So merrily, they were making the lives of the authorities miserable, by enquiring about the time the trains were supposed to restart. It amuses me to be among the few who understand that rains are still the work of an external force. By the way, why not take this golden opportunity to blame it on Pakistan?

Anyway, as any aspiring entrepreneur would sense, I wondered about the existence of an amazing business opportunity, given the sheer number of potential customers with a need. Food. As with any other mundane and boring story, the hunger sets in, remember? And the story of all our lives is mundane and boring, let’s face it.

As with most "innovative" ideas, this one too was doomed for failure. This is Mumbai, my friend, a city that has the cash-upon-an-opportunity-and-cash-it-now attitude even among the house flies. Soon I discovered a bun-butter-jam vendor and a make-and-shift-if-you-don't-shift-then-BMC-will tea stall around the place. And, they were doing brisk business. Its 4:30 in the night and we're talking about a literally rainy setup. Thou shalt strive to maximize end-user comfort and make money in the process. And thou shalt soon change thou damned name. T-h-o-u is archaic!

Cut to search for smoke (one of my colleagues wanted it bad enough, in fact, the smokers always want it bad enough), and Regal cinema was the place where one always finds cigarettes, pan, tea, biscuits, chocolates, and happiness. Okay, I lied about the happiness part.

Striking thing about all these we're-open-24-7-365 shops is the absence of ridiculous inflation, when the consumer need becomes greater than usual. So we got all the stuff from each of the vendors at the normal rates. Very unlike in northern parts of the country, Homo Sapienus Fleeceus!

On our way back, we tuned into one enterprising FM channel which, in its endeavor to comfort the denizens, was up much beyond the normal time. They were taking calls from people stranded across the city and making announcements informing the families of those stuck, about the well being of those who couldn't be with their families that night, motivating people to send food to some 250 kids stuck in a building in Goregaon that’s flooded 10 feet, and so on.

Nobility, I think is a much undervalued virtue. And comforting those in need is fairly, and affordably, noble.

Here are my 2 cents and several bytes (see above, if you haven't already) for the cause.
Move 'Maximum City' Mumbai, tomorrow is another day, and I have to go to the office. Its 5:30 no more, damn!

They Are Therefore I Am

Hi Mummy and Papa,

If you consider your kids to be the greatest "milestone" from the glorious 25 years that you have spent together, let me just say that you have been extremely successful in attaining the milestone. Twenty-five of the many reasons are:

1. Both of your kids couldn't have been happier being born to a different set of parents.
2. Both of your kids cannot be more thankful of their upbringing.
3. Both of your kids have seen you through thick and thin.
4. Both of your kids have admired you every single day of their lives.
5. Both of your kids feel safe in the world that you have provided to them.
6. Both of your kids look forward to you in times of distress.
7. Both of your kids want to be with you in times of their joy.
8. Both of your kids attribute every single thing they have attained to you.
9. Both of your kids moved on, when things seemed rough, only because of you.
10. Both of your kids have their dreams that they have because of you.
11. Both of your kids immensely appreciate the devotion that both of you have towards our little sweet home.
12. Both of your kids learn from you that one can never lose by working hard.
13. Both of your kids are humble because of you.
14. Both of your kids are motivated to attain higher because of you.
15. Both of your kids need no feel for external support because of the pillars that both of you have always been .
16. Both of your kids feel accountability only to you and no one else.
17. Both of your kids seek comfort from you and no one else.
18. Both of your kids carry your values.
19. Both of your kids are what they are because of you.
20. Both of your kids will be what they will be because of you.
21. Both of your kids rejoice the small pleasures in life because of your naivete.
22. Both of your kids have big dreams in life because of your sophistication.
23. Both of your kids are weak when you are weak.
24. Both of your kids are strong when you are strong.
25. Both your kids love you the way you are.

Thank you mummy and papa, you are the greatest! Have a great silver jubilee party!

All of our love,
Shivali and Rahul

Eric Von Daniken and Google Maps

The register reports about a certain impression, they claim to be of Jesus Christ, in a Peruvian sand dune http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/07/15/google_spots_jesus/

Well, for me it is only reminiscent of the theory in Eric Von Daniken's (http://www.world-mysteries.com/pex_3.htm) book titled, "Chariots of the Gods". I bought this book around the time I came to Mumbai this Feb. The most interesting aspect of this theory and thus the book was its concurrence with what I was discussing with Kabra in our trip to Shivpuri (The exact location where we discussed this is in the accompanying picture).



One of the things we discussed was our (at least mine) disbelief at accepting that in the billions of years since the earth formed, we (our race, our ancestors) are the most advanced/developed beings than existed. Alright, the veracity of earth's age is also debatable, since we depend on calculations as to earth's age done by our "edition" of earth dwellers.
Cut to Mumbai, and I am set thinking about it again while reading Von Daniken's book.
Cut to the register article, I'm thinking again. Sorry, I meant I'm blogging again!
Adding the other Von Daniken books to the wishlist now...

Sea, she and me

One evening, watching the free birds fly
Over the dark sea, into the dark sky
I thought of her and heaved a sigh
Where was she and where was I?

I turned to walk away from the sea
Neither could I help it, nor could she
For loving is meeting and then going free
She was hollow and so was me

The meeting of souls is a fabled tale
The reality is a heart going pale
In the age of careers, love must fail
Easy it is, to forget the trail

The trail on the paths that we walked
The many lovely hours that we talked
Alas! A career has rendered locked
The door to her heart that I knocked

Its evening again, I walk to the sea
I look at people, they look at me
The birds in the skies still fly free
I'm smiling again and so would be she!

Depressing

Yes, the first few letters taught to a kid being B L A C K is depressing.

I do not see myself as being a competent authority to write a review on the movie, but just because I spent a few bucks and a few hours am I writing this.
The story revolves around a girl, played by Ayesha Kapoor (around the age 8) and Rani Mukherjee (between the ages 20 through 40), and her teacher, played by Amitabh Bachchan.

Call me a chicken, but the thought of being blessed with a 'special' child is scary. Unlike the McNealy family, I'm not sure how many families would be able to afford a special teacher for the 'special' kid.
Call me a chicken, but the thought of having no conceivable way of teaching a kid about words and what they mean, is scary.
Call me a chicken, but the thought of not feeling helpless about the failure at the part of the child to learn, is unreal to me.

Unlike a lot of other people who saw the motion picture, I do not think that the performances are, to quote, Oscar material. Call me lacking, but I think that such a subject does tend to bias the audiences towards calling the act as great. Many aspects of the movie seem artificial or implausible, even from the perspective of filmmaking. For example, I'm not sure, but I think that not at all times, all actors (including the characters of Rani's mother and her sister) have used communication through the 'sign language' appropriately. Then, at the instances when Rani communicates using the 'sign language', the other characters speaking aloud what she meant seems artificial, for the lack of a better word. I mean, c'mon, the director (Sanjay Leela Bhansali) could have used some form of 'subtitles' for the same, or so I think. At other instances, the script seemed lacking, for example, Rani's college failing her, year after year after year, because she could not type fast enough to complete the paper is really not acceptable. I mean, c'mon, the day you decided to admit a special student, was the day when you also agreed to give special treatment to the student. And, giving extra time to type the answers in Braille really isn't unjustified.

All in all, people seemed to have liked the movie, if quotes like, "What a powerful film!" are to be believed.

Yes, a blind and deaf born child is depressing.
Yes, Alzheimer’s disease in the final years of one's life is depressing.
Yes, being called a chicken and lacking at reading this review, would be depressing.

Tibetan Incantations

http://sim.may.ru/b/mp3/Tibetian%20Incantations/

More details on my addictions to these later, I bought a CD in Rishikesh and have been hooked since...

Drunk

The only thing I know is that I love you,
I know you are the Sun and I am the dew,
I know that you are pretty and I am ugly,
But then, I think, there's always a may be.

You are happy and you make merry,
I watch you and turn red like a cherry,
You are always happy and you always shine,
But I carry on without you, with a broken spine.

With the foolish dreams I dreamt for myself,
I know its not possible, it's just a bluff,
But then how can I help feeling about you,
For God has been kind to some other few.

Let me wake up all sane, sober and done,
For wondering a life with you and the fun,
Is crazy as was the idea of Giza,
Though love stands tall as in Pisa.

I wish you come and make me complete,
I love you lots with each of my beat,
Sitting drunk I wonder about those few,
The only thing I know is that I love you.

A Nerd's Guide To Getting Hooked Up

This must be the funniest link I read in years
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=114438

Hallucination

She came to him, never to go
Pleasant dream, quite a show
Ecstatic time, beyond discernment
Eternal bliss, akin to firmament

His love for her was sublime
Spanning beyond boundaries of time
Together they went atop worldly hill
Their joy infinite and their worries nil

His decorated lady, fairer than fair
Like a moonlit night, and scented air
Those eyes of hers, stairway to heaven
An alarm shrieked, 'twas half-past seven

Wake up sonny, lift thy brow
She never came, end of show

Childhood's End

You shout in your sleep.
Perhaps the price is just too steep.
Is your conscience at rest
If once put to the test?

You awake with a stars
To just the beating of your heart.
Just one man beneath the skies,
Just two ears, just two eyes.

You set sail across the sea
Of longpast thoughts and memories.
Childhood's end,
Your fantasies merge with harsh realities.

And then as the sail is hoist,
You find your eyes are growing moist.
All the fears never voiced
Say you have to make your final choice.

Who are you and who am I
To say we know the reason why
Some are born;
Some men diebeneath one infinite sky.

There'll be war, there'll be peace.
But everything one day will cease.

All the iron'll turn to rust;
All the proud men'll turn to dust.
And so all things, time will mend.
So this song will end.

-Song by Pink Floyd, Album: Obscured by Clouds

H(p) = -plogp - (1-p)log(1-p)

H(p) = -plogp - (1-p)log(1-p)
by Scott Aaronson



I was reading an obituary of Shannon,
asking myself:
why did it take till 1948?
That the semantics of a message
are irrelevant to how to transmit it,
that the distribution from which the message was
chosen is all that matters,
is obvious.
Should've been obvious to the Babylonians,
Greeks, Egyptians.

Why, among the thousands of ideas put forward
by Aristotle, Augustine, Maimonides,
Kant, Comte, Marx, Nietzsche,
Mary Baker Eddy,
was there nowhere the almost trivial observation
that to encrypt perfectly you need a key
the size of the message itself?
or that almost all functions
have exponential circuit complexity?

I wandered out of the library
and saw a girl sketching the landscape,
breasts straining against the V of her sweater,
surrounded by laughing guys
who'd probably never even seen the entropy formula,
and then I knew.

1984

Good book, I'd like to quote:

They sye that time 'eals all things,
They sye you can always forget;
But the smiles an' the tears across the years
They twist my 'eart strings yet!

As always, could relate to this...

You or me

People around here are driving me crazy
Watching them run is making me lazy
Trying to buy a place in my head
Selling me lines I've already read
Speaking my name to try to confuse me
Say it again you're starting to lose me

That's alright I'm okay
It happens every single day
It's all the same
But I'm not blind

Nevermind
It's either you or me
And I can't see the difference
You or me
I find that I can't see the difference

Senility and lack of well being

Don't know what's happening. That palpitation thing. That costocondritis (or whatever the spellings are). And now this "occupational hazard" of a constant pain, right wrist upwards to the elbow. Tis lack of well being.

Tis lack of well being and . . .

"
Come on over
Do the twist
Overdo it
Have a fit
Come on over
Shoot the shit
Love you so much
Makes me sick
Beat me out of me
She keeps it pumping straight into my heart
"

BITCH!


Tis, probably, senility.

ZombiePunchLine

(Thanks to Neha Wattas for sending me this with the quote "Probably you'd be able to relate to it!")

I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a hell of a lot more if I had been understood. -Clarence Darrow

How bizarre, how bizarre!

Porcelain

(Amusing as it is to me, I tend to come across words that say __exactly__ what I want to say, so here I am saying it through Moby's composition)

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
Then I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye

Tell the truth you never wanted me
Tell me...

In my dreams I'm jealous all the time
Then I wake I'm going out of my mind
Going out of my mind

God

Suraj ki garmi se
tapte hue man ko
mil jaaye
taruvar ki chaaya

aisa hi sukh
mere man ko mila hai
mein jabse sharan teri aaya
mere Raam

God exists. Just that he's apparently busy at times. At times he's indifferent.

It is deserved at times, but Mr. God, it's your job to take care of things around here. So please do.

Dog

"On the Internet, no one knows you are a dog" - this quote is most probably copyright Suresh, yes that super studd self styled 'lower middle class sys admin'.

I was reminded of this yesterday, looking at them and us.

Actually, its __only__ on the Internet that no one knows you are a dog, elsewhere they do. You may not __have__ to be a dog. You may have an NRI father. You may have an earning in dollars and spending in rupees. Then you may not be a dog.

But if you are, so accept it and move on, may a bitch be with you. Bow!

Natural Blues

The following song is by Moby - can relate to it somehow - among other things, my brother (yes most of the world doesn't even know I ever had a brother) died when I was 6 years old.

Oh lordy, trouble so hard
don't nobody know my troubles but God

Went down the hill, other day
soul got happy and stayed all day

Went in the room, didn't stay long,
looked on the bed and brother was dead

Serious...

OS Quiz, again!

I took the OS Quiz again, and see the results!
So those of you who think I have substandard communication skills, go get screwed somewhere. Or, why bother someone else, go kiss a cactus, and do it with your butt :-p

cel-pec and (unrelatedly) my pneumodreamania

The technically non-challanged people of PEC circa late 20th Century - this is how they describe themselves, actually, we describe ourselves (yes, I'm a part of this group, actually everyone else is like 4-5 seniors to me and worked for CEL@PEC, I didn't). The reason I'm mentioning it here because, these guys (okay us!) know stuff. The second reason I'm mentioning it here is that there is publicly viewable blog at http://celpec.blogspot.com. Follow this link and keep coming to see whats on.

On an unrelated note, man, dream life is becoming such a misery. Oxymoron as it may sound, these days I'm prefering real life than dream life. Reason? This genuine sadness I was awarded a few days ago. To add to the misery, all I see is getting kicked, being told I'm not fit for social consumption, and dream of office and things going wrong.

Gawd, how easy is to cremate and move on. Autopsy is apparently fun to some.
Genuine sadness.

As strong as lithium

(Met Rat yesterday over beer, talked a while, bitched a while, laughed a while, overall good fun! MoM follow)

I like you, I'm not gonna cry
I miss you, I'm not gonna cry
I love you, I'm not gonna cry
I killed you, I'm not gonna cry

Dead and gone. The show must go on.

I know its wrong, so what should I do? (from On a plain)

I'll start this off without any words
I got so high that I scratched 'til I bled
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?
The finest day that I ever had
Was when I learned to cry on command
I'm on a plain
I can't complain

The truth is out there...

Fellow Zincers,

The truth is out there. Zombie is exposed. The I-am-not-a-geek silhouette withered. An apparent attempt at being fit for social consumption has failed so damned miserably.

Once upon a time, there was shit. Once upon a time, there was a fan. Then the fan started. Wait, it ain't gross yet! I threw the shit and it hit the running fan. Now there's shit all over.
All this while I didn't even know that what I'm saying has, invisible to me, connotations attached to it, ALL THE TIME. I just thought I was talking to a friend. But no, geeks have no non-geek friends.

So here I am, an authenic social misfit. Pity me, for that's among the few things I'm used to.
Beat me, whip me, but don't send me to the cruel society.
Its back to Nirvana now, yes you guessed it! My favorite for the moment is 'On a plain'

Lets headbang, and drop the shit.

Yours zincerly,
Zombie
PS: I like Rohit and Shantz's current posts on the list, but as the wise zombie has said elsewhere, we don't need no meano, I mean, maino to run our house.

Hapless and helpless, not even knowing why

A pretty helpless day, yesterday.
Somehow I am being held responsible for something I never did :(
Its like firing a shot using an airgun near the border and being blamed for using a B-52 stealth bomber in a forbidden territory :( :(

Tried explaining on chat, sent several smses, sent a mail, had unanswered calls like a zillion times, had two answered calls. The first one giving some hope, I thought I would be absolved. But it was not to be.

The second answered call threw me on a tar road, ran a road-roller over me, turned me over, ran the road roller again, turned me orthogonally, held me between two bricks, ran the road roller again, now a 180 degrees turn, held again among bricks and ran the road-roller again.
No it doesn't end here, to quote, I may be absolved in a day (weak chance), a week (not strong either) or NEVER (said as strongly).

I really don't know why does this kind of stuff happen to me. Just hoping I get to know.
Till then its sadness, anxiety and a disgusting existence...

The beautiful

Here I was, a maverick, a geek and a nerd,
With a world of my own, a free spirited bird,
Dreaming of myself, white backdrop and a stick,
All mirage all over, no men, no brick.

Along came a day, when our paths met,
I fancied you, never escaping a fret,
There you were, a princess of a million dreams,
A dreamer, me, little substance, lesser streams.

I let the feelings stay, the expression tarry,
But it seems an age, no longer can I carry,
These meaningless thoughts, this ephemeral dew,
Not possible it is, to see and talk and not love you.

For mere mortals, like me, can never vie,
A lovely life, immortality, having never to die
I ask you, pretty woman, to think I'm gone,
I'll retire those feelings, make this heart a stone.

Such a lovely, adorable thing you have been,
Rule those million dreams, princess, be the queen
May you be happy, blessed, chirpy and cheerful
Dear Lord, do you make the mortals and the beautiful?

Which OS are you?

Take this quiz http://bbspot.com/News/2003/01/os_quiz.php


Which OS are You?

Sadly I turned out to be Windows 95, with sub-standard communication skills :(

Sis...

My sis topped Chandigarh in the class VIII exams, by jove, and I never topped even in kinder garten, not even in my section, all that rogan badam shirin masaages notwithstanding :)
Gawd!
But I am might happy, I am. God bless you, sis!

Swear, I didn't do it for the nookie

Why did it take so long?
Why, did I wait so long, huh?
To figure it out, but I did it
And I'm the only one
Underneath the sun who didn't get it
I can't believe that I could be deceived
By my so-called girl, but in reality
She had a hidden agenda
She put my tender, heart in a blender
And still I surrender

Like a chump, hey

Nirvana - Howto?

I would never bother you
I would never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you
Never speak a word again
I will crawl away for good

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this
Things have never been so swell
And I have never failed to fail
Pain... (x3)
You know you're right (x3)

I´m so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
Let's talk about someone else
Sterling silver begins to melt
Nothin' really bothers her
She just wants to love herself

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knowed it'd come to this
Things have never been so swell
And I have never failed to fail

Pain... (x5)
You know you're right (x12)
You know you're right (x4)
Pain...
---------------------------------
Ain't got nothing called will, have I?
/*answer awaited*/
...
/*state desired*/

Entropy

... rin ... iffco chowk ... dinner ... peas ... bitch ... training ... claims ... shave ... geyser ... shampoo ... landlord ... bitch ... 1984 ... feedback ... infosys ... lungs ... licensing ... bitch ... psalms ...

I like it, I'm not gonna cry
I miss you, I'm not gonna cry
I love you, I'm not gonna cry
I killed you, I'm not gonna cry

... dropped the albatross ...

Them: "Rahul, cig?"
Me: "Do I have a cig?"
Me: "No"
Me: "Do I have a life?"
Me: "No"
Me: "Do I have a girl friend?"
Me: "No"
Me: "Do I want a cig?"
Me: "Yes"
Me: "Do I want a life?"
Me: "Yes"
Me: "Do I want a girl friend?"
Me: "No"

Entropy of the world keeps on increasing, just my share into it

Momentary lapse of reason

Been having a lot of 'em for the past few days. I mean I prepare some document or something, revisit it after sometime and invariably see myself wonder how on earth could I have written that!

Attribute it primarily to the post below and while you do that, read the title as "In (and hopefully) out of insanity".

Why?
I don't know, but I've been told,
Pretty little woman ain't got no soul.

Wish God gave them, the pretty, some true emotion.
Dear God, I understand, you're busy.

Later...

In (and most probably) out of love

I did the sinful act of liking (read as a stronger emotion, reader discretion required) someone. Why was it a sin? Because that someone is just so much out of my league that associating with them for a moment needs heavenly luck, and here I was, thinking of a long association. Something like asking for a heaven-like life. That's a sin. Ain't it?

So goes the sin (narrative):
I see you the first time and pause for a moment, "pretty little
thing", I wonder and then move on. I mean we see pretty little things
all the time, don't we? Pune has like a zillion of them.

A pretty person interests everyone and that includes me. That said,
the interest doesn't last long, so did with me. But the more I got
to know you, the more you interested me, more and more and more,
all the time. So much so that your persona just became overwhelming.
You were there all the time, eyes open and eyes closed.

The first thought of each of my dawns, the last thought of each
of my dusk. You and you and you. Dreams were dreamlike with you in them.

I see a pretty girl somewhere and just shrug her off, saying "I
know someone prettier that her", prettier than anyone, prettier than everyone.

Experience a pleasing moment and wonder if you were there too, what
sublime moment in life that would be. This explains the "wish you
were here" thing at getting tipsy for tipsy times are among the
best moments for me. But that went wrong. You read it wrong and I let you do so too.

Ladies and gentlemen, the panic sets in. You are offended by the
very mention of the word 'together'. Sharing a happy moment with
the thought of you around is an offence, a sin, I'm told. That does it.

Then do I realise what a gross sin I was doing, thinking of a princess
and a piglet in the same picture. Holy mother of Christ, even Christ
can't afford that. What a fool.

Dream shattered, life wasted, time to disappear, ladies and gentlemen.
Time to dress in the cowardly attire, I wait for it to get dark and disappear.

Smoke fills the scene.

Happy times won't last long is a pessimist’s viewpoint. Happy times
don't last long, a pragmatist's.

But there must be more to life than seeking pure and selfish happiness.
Being sane is probably killing desires right ab initio.

The easiest way out, disappear. Think of it as a bad dream that
never happened. Cry a while, be a man, a new day will begin probably.

Probably it won't, who is to say?

Zombie watcheth

Inspite of promising, I took this long in writing a second blog. Sorry. Thats just me. But I do want to change. Motivation, man, how badly I want that!

Okay, coming to the post meat, I went to Delhi this weekend for a friend's wedding. It was the first time I watched the solemn occasion that closely, I mean there have been shaadis all the time, but somehow I wasn't as watchful of them.

Shaadi apart, the journey to and from Delhi was experience of sorts.
- Watch a drunken brawl in the DTC bus that I was travelling in, one of the moments, I wish I owned a car of my own and had had enough cash to keep me away from this all.
- Just when I got down at Dhaula Kuan, a flurry of khakhis are there gheroing everyone and asking them to stop right there. I just thought a few hours later I'd be on TV talking of some "attack" or something happening. But no, that was a politician attacking! It (the politician) was supposed to be visiting DSOI nearby, thus the barricade. Minister-o-Ridiculousia. I thought this kind of near curfew situation was to be seen only in the peak militancy days in Punjab. I thought the feeling of being a second-grade citizen would be one's own in a foreign country. I thought it was peace time. I thought I was as much an Indian.
- On my way back, I witnessed a bus conductor being rude with passengers who were objecting to the bus being halted for over 10 minutes at each stop. Reminded me of a post at Atanu's Blog about how much of a gap exists between the civilized and uncivilized, about how the under privileged are overly rude, about how I detest when people plead money for such "children of lesser a God"
- Watched my self being happy post daaru session at the marriage :)

Rambling et al, it ends here.

Introduction and the lack of it

Okay World, here I come!
Been thinking of having a blog ever since I was in college (Okay okay I realize that there should have been my intro et al. Lets say it one more time: *Yawn*. I am too lazy for that. So I'll try and "introduce meself" as it goes, don't expect write-ups starting with "I was born in the beautiful town of ", this, primarily because I wasn't born in a beautiful town )

Why start today? Good question! Wrong time. I am hurt you asked this. Its been a monotonous day. Monotonity/Cluelessness is what scares me.
Second, Rohit's page did the inspiration thingy.

I'm into a new job (Another piece of info, *info*...*/info* henceforth). I recently quit Infosys Technologies Ltd to join EValueServe, fondly EVS, as an Associate (Research Associate) in the Intellectual Property Division. IP related work is a niche area, at least in India and is expected to grow big time, thanks to the world's belief of India as the Knowledge Land.

The transition from Infosys to EVS happened *fast*. From a company I used to fancy (courtesy: BW et al) to a company I am sporting the mail id of, in some 20 days. Pretty cool, huh?

Winding up to see the preview and away from prying eyes. Keep tuned. I'll be back.
(Click here to mail me)