[Humorous] Interpretations of [God]

Disclaimer: I am a believer in God. My faith in Allah is equally devout as in Bhagwan or Rabb. The following is only an attempt at wit and is not at all intended to mean malice to any religion. If anyone objects to this post, I will apologize and remove it.

I am very interested in Ghazals. Now, the poetry (that is consumable by mortals like me) being based mostly in Urdu does tend to take one into the realm of love. And, in my limited experience, there are occasions where there is an ambiguity between interpreting the love to be directed to the beloved or to God. So anyway, I oft find myself wondering about Islam (renderers especially like Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan sahab have rendered religious compositions and others equally well). I am especially a fan of Shikwa and Jawab-e-Shikwa, and Tum Ik Gorakh Dhandha Ho.

The ghazal in my previous post had an introduction (from the life of Mirza Ghalib), and the introduction mentioned the differences between the Shia and Sunni sects of Islam. I read about the differences in the article, The Origin of Shia/Sunni Split in Islam. The page also mentions several interesting things (heard about them earlier, but never really understood the reason for existence of a conflict despite these).

1. Abraham, Issac, Jacob, Joseph, Job, Moses, Aaron, David, Elisha, John the Baptist, and Jesus are mentioned as prophets of Allah (as mentioned in the Holy Quran)
2. Jesus is also recognized as a law bringing prophet.
3. The gospel revealed to Jesus is counted among the books of Allah.

The same page mentions positive and negative (the language on the page, not mine) attributes of Allah. Since I've heard about similar attributes for Bhagwaan and Rabb, I will treat these attributes as those of God.

So anyway, I mentioned the positive attributes to a friend on a skype chat. See what those got displayed as on the chat.

See the smiley - 8) - against the attribute, "[God] is truthful. His words and promises are true."

Interpretation: Believe it, if you like!



It gets more interesting when we come to the negative attributes and read those in the context of modern day life. The negative attributes (again, the language used on the page, not my words) are (I'm replacing specific mentions to Allah, with [God]):

THE NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES OF [GOD]
1) [God] has no partners.
God is not a team player!

2) [God] is neither made, nor composed, of any material.
God is not patentable subject matter!

3) [God] is not confined to any place and has no body.
God is mobile, so should be you!
(Orange will love this, fear of irking sentiments notwithstanding!)

4) [God] does not incarnate into anything or anybody.
Dikhaawon pe mat jaao, apni akal lagao!

5) [God] is not subject to changes. [God] cannot change.
Dynamism and Evolution are man-made, God doesn't believe in them!

6) [God] is not visible. He has not been seen, is not seen, and will never be seen, because he has no form or body.
And you thought that Rayban Aviator was a good buy!

7) [God] is not dependent. [God] is not deficient, so he does not have any needs.
God pays his own taxes, is not dependent. Please follow suit, pay your taxes!

8) [God] does not have added qualifications. The attributes of [God] are not separate from His being.
And you? Mortal being! You want an MBA? You fool!

My addition, [God] lives in all of us, so our humor is his. [God] bless!