Senility and lack of well being

Don't know what's happening. That palpitation thing. That costocondritis (or whatever the spellings are). And now this "occupational hazard" of a constant pain, right wrist upwards to the elbow. Tis lack of well being.

Tis lack of well being and . . .

"
Come on over
Do the twist
Overdo it
Have a fit
Come on over
Shoot the shit
Love you so much
Makes me sick
Beat me out of me
She keeps it pumping straight into my heart
"

BITCH!


Tis, probably, senility.

ZombiePunchLine

(Thanks to Neha Wattas for sending me this with the quote "Probably you'd be able to relate to it!")

I have suffered from being misunderstood, but I would have suffered a hell of a lot more if I had been understood. -Clarence Darrow

How bizarre, how bizarre!

Porcelain

(Amusing as it is to me, I tend to come across words that say __exactly__ what I want to say, so here I am saying it through Moby's composition)

In my dreams I'm dying all the time
Then I wake its kaleidoscopic mind
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to lie
So this is goodbye
This is goodbye

Tell the truth you never wanted me
Tell me...

In my dreams I'm jealous all the time
Then I wake I'm going out of my mind
Going out of my mind

God

Suraj ki garmi se
tapte hue man ko
mil jaaye
taruvar ki chaaya

aisa hi sukh
mere man ko mila hai
mein jabse sharan teri aaya
mere Raam

God exists. Just that he's apparently busy at times. At times he's indifferent.

It is deserved at times, but Mr. God, it's your job to take care of things around here. So please do.

Dog

"On the Internet, no one knows you are a dog" - this quote is most probably copyright Suresh, yes that super studd self styled 'lower middle class sys admin'.

I was reminded of this yesterday, looking at them and us.

Actually, its __only__ on the Internet that no one knows you are a dog, elsewhere they do. You may not __have__ to be a dog. You may have an NRI father. You may have an earning in dollars and spending in rupees. Then you may not be a dog.

But if you are, so accept it and move on, may a bitch be with you. Bow!

Natural Blues

The following song is by Moby - can relate to it somehow - among other things, my brother (yes most of the world doesn't even know I ever had a brother) died when I was 6 years old.

Oh lordy, trouble so hard
don't nobody know my troubles but God

Went down the hill, other day
soul got happy and stayed all day

Went in the room, didn't stay long,
looked on the bed and brother was dead

Serious...

OS Quiz, again!

I took the OS Quiz again, and see the results!
So those of you who think I have substandard communication skills, go get screwed somewhere. Or, why bother someone else, go kiss a cactus, and do it with your butt :-p

cel-pec and (unrelatedly) my pneumodreamania

The technically non-challanged people of PEC circa late 20th Century - this is how they describe themselves, actually, we describe ourselves (yes, I'm a part of this group, actually everyone else is like 4-5 seniors to me and worked for CEL@PEC, I didn't). The reason I'm mentioning it here because, these guys (okay us!) know stuff. The second reason I'm mentioning it here is that there is publicly viewable blog at http://celpec.blogspot.com. Follow this link and keep coming to see whats on.

On an unrelated note, man, dream life is becoming such a misery. Oxymoron as it may sound, these days I'm prefering real life than dream life. Reason? This genuine sadness I was awarded a few days ago. To add to the misery, all I see is getting kicked, being told I'm not fit for social consumption, and dream of office and things going wrong.

Gawd, how easy is to cremate and move on. Autopsy is apparently fun to some.
Genuine sadness.

As strong as lithium

(Met Rat yesterday over beer, talked a while, bitched a while, laughed a while, overall good fun! MoM follow)

I like you, I'm not gonna cry
I miss you, I'm not gonna cry
I love you, I'm not gonna cry
I killed you, I'm not gonna cry

Dead and gone. The show must go on.

I know its wrong, so what should I do? (from On a plain)

I'll start this off without any words
I got so high that I scratched 'til I bled
I love myself better than you
I know it's wrong so what should I do?
The finest day that I ever had
Was when I learned to cry on command
I'm on a plain
I can't complain

The truth is out there...

Fellow Zincers,

The truth is out there. Zombie is exposed. The I-am-not-a-geek silhouette withered. An apparent attempt at being fit for social consumption has failed so damned miserably.

Once upon a time, there was shit. Once upon a time, there was a fan. Then the fan started. Wait, it ain't gross yet! I threw the shit and it hit the running fan. Now there's shit all over.
All this while I didn't even know that what I'm saying has, invisible to me, connotations attached to it, ALL THE TIME. I just thought I was talking to a friend. But no, geeks have no non-geek friends.

So here I am, an authenic social misfit. Pity me, for that's among the few things I'm used to.
Beat me, whip me, but don't send me to the cruel society.
Its back to Nirvana now, yes you guessed it! My favorite for the moment is 'On a plain'

Lets headbang, and drop the shit.

Yours zincerly,
Zombie
PS: I like Rohit and Shantz's current posts on the list, but as the wise zombie has said elsewhere, we don't need no meano, I mean, maino to run our house.

Hapless and helpless, not even knowing why

A pretty helpless day, yesterday.
Somehow I am being held responsible for something I never did :(
Its like firing a shot using an airgun near the border and being blamed for using a B-52 stealth bomber in a forbidden territory :( :(

Tried explaining on chat, sent several smses, sent a mail, had unanswered calls like a zillion times, had two answered calls. The first one giving some hope, I thought I would be absolved. But it was not to be.

The second answered call threw me on a tar road, ran a road-roller over me, turned me over, ran the road roller again, turned me orthogonally, held me between two bricks, ran the road roller again, now a 180 degrees turn, held again among bricks and ran the road-roller again.
No it doesn't end here, to quote, I may be absolved in a day (weak chance), a week (not strong either) or NEVER (said as strongly).

I really don't know why does this kind of stuff happen to me. Just hoping I get to know.
Till then its sadness, anxiety and a disgusting existence...

The beautiful

Here I was, a maverick, a geek and a nerd,
With a world of my own, a free spirited bird,
Dreaming of myself, white backdrop and a stick,
All mirage all over, no men, no brick.

Along came a day, when our paths met,
I fancied you, never escaping a fret,
There you were, a princess of a million dreams,
A dreamer, me, little substance, lesser streams.

I let the feelings stay, the expression tarry,
But it seems an age, no longer can I carry,
These meaningless thoughts, this ephemeral dew,
Not possible it is, to see and talk and not love you.

For mere mortals, like me, can never vie,
A lovely life, immortality, having never to die
I ask you, pretty woman, to think I'm gone,
I'll retire those feelings, make this heart a stone.

Such a lovely, adorable thing you have been,
Rule those million dreams, princess, be the queen
May you be happy, blessed, chirpy and cheerful
Dear Lord, do you make the mortals and the beautiful?