Maximum City

Its 5:30 a.m. and I just came back after seeing Mumbai. No, I wasn't out partying, wasn't even working late.

I saw Mumbai, a city paralyzed. Jammed roads, Intimidating sea, Halted trains, Dysfunctional phones, Blacked-out suburbs.

Around afternoon, it started getting *quite* dark. But ever since I installed Konfbulator and its nifty little widget for weather, and configured it for Mumbai, looking outside the window has become a passé. The widget punchline itself says, "So that you never have to look outside again".

So, anyway, the widget showed cloudy sky with those gray streaks, so large that they seemed to run across the section on the widget for the current date. I didn't quite bother interpreting what it could mean, a torn city, perhaps. As I said, I didn't bother.

As the day progressed, the commotion (excitement?) in the office increased. Things like, "...you live in Colaba (close to the office, that is), why would you bother...” For me what was strange was to find this particular boat in the sea, that one sees from the window near the elevators on the floor where my office is, missing. I distinctly remember seeing it twice in the day, once about 2 PM and then about 4 PM, during my excursions. But at about 5:30, the boat was no where to be found. Either they took it, or *it* did.

By about 6 it was sort of "... (Houston) we have a situation!” Pizzas were ordered, and I was prepared to welcome guests from the office to the Corporate House, where I stay. If it is to be, it will be, so it was.

I finished my work at about 11. By then the ladies from the office had left for the CH, while we were, seven of us, unfair sex (each unfair than the other), in the office, no where to go, no place to call our own. So went the usual trip, and Ghazals plus Google earth kept us just fine.

Ah, not to forget, the little office-alone adventure that happened in the suite adjacent to ours. Apparently, a man had gotten drunk and somehow got himself locked in the office. So helpless, and stupid, as he was, and selfless, and jobless as people in my office were, a good amount of time went in setting the drunkards (actually there were two, too drunk) free.

How stupid the drunkards were, we'll never know. But we were *quite* jobless, so at 4 we decided to "checkout" (I hate ambiguous words, I do) the sea @ Marine Drive. So intrepid as we were, went down towards NCPA only to make fun of the sissy sea (we had expected more aggression) and the umbrella-holders amongst us. Frankly, I didn't think the sea was sissy, a little more and I wouldn't have been writing this!

As in other mundane and boring stories, hunger set in. Only that it was for food this time. So we went to Churchgate. And boy, it was one of those days when I think not owning a digicam is the second biggest mistake of my life. The first one being turning 24 and comfortably forgetting to plan a life strategy, but then, that’s a different story, perhaps a different blog entry.

Churchgate! That place didn't have church, and not even a gate, but yes it had .... It had people. People. People. Some more, people. And some more. And some more. Sleeping; on the floor, with or without newspaper ("mattress"); on the benches; in the parked trains. Watching; life, universe, and everything. Wondering; when are the trains going to start, if their families are safe and fed, if office tomorrow will understand, how long will they discuss their i-was-at-foobar-when-we-got-stuck stories with friends at work, whose story would become most popular, and if all 24 year olds have a life strategy. Okay, I made the last one up. In fact, I made all of them up.

Then there were the ones who believed more in the power of screaming, than sleeping. So merrily, they were making the lives of the authorities miserable, by enquiring about the time the trains were supposed to restart. It amuses me to be among the few who understand that rains are still the work of an external force. By the way, why not take this golden opportunity to blame it on Pakistan?

Anyway, as any aspiring entrepreneur would sense, I wondered about the existence of an amazing business opportunity, given the sheer number of potential customers with a need. Food. As with any other mundane and boring story, the hunger sets in, remember? And the story of all our lives is mundane and boring, let’s face it.

As with most "innovative" ideas, this one too was doomed for failure. This is Mumbai, my friend, a city that has the cash-upon-an-opportunity-and-cash-it-now attitude even among the house flies. Soon I discovered a bun-butter-jam vendor and a make-and-shift-if-you-don't-shift-then-BMC-will tea stall around the place. And, they were doing brisk business. Its 4:30 in the night and we're talking about a literally rainy setup. Thou shalt strive to maximize end-user comfort and make money in the process. And thou shalt soon change thou damned name. T-h-o-u is archaic!

Cut to search for smoke (one of my colleagues wanted it bad enough, in fact, the smokers always want it bad enough), and Regal cinema was the place where one always finds cigarettes, pan, tea, biscuits, chocolates, and happiness. Okay, I lied about the happiness part.

Striking thing about all these we're-open-24-7-365 shops is the absence of ridiculous inflation, when the consumer need becomes greater than usual. So we got all the stuff from each of the vendors at the normal rates. Very unlike in northern parts of the country, Homo Sapienus Fleeceus!

On our way back, we tuned into one enterprising FM channel which, in its endeavor to comfort the denizens, was up much beyond the normal time. They were taking calls from people stranded across the city and making announcements informing the families of those stuck, about the well being of those who couldn't be with their families that night, motivating people to send food to some 250 kids stuck in a building in Goregaon that’s flooded 10 feet, and so on.

Nobility, I think is a much undervalued virtue. And comforting those in need is fairly, and affordably, noble.

Here are my 2 cents and several bytes (see above, if you haven't already) for the cause.
Move 'Maximum City' Mumbai, tomorrow is another day, and I have to go to the office. Its 5:30 no more, damn!